Crippler

I walked across the field to accompany Cass. She likes having company, even when there isn't much to talk about. It was a nice day so I didn't mind the walk, besides it was giving my legs a little warm up before the game. We saw a lone ultimate player setting up by a far sideline. As we got closer I realized that she was the girl from the other team who badly injured her ankle last week. We approached to say hi and ask if she was ok. My cellphone rang.

It was my brother who I hadn't heard from in a while and would need to visit soon so I felt obligated to answer despite just initiating a conversation with someone. I apologized and picked up the phone.

"Hey, what's up?"

"You checked any boards lately?"

"Can you give me a second?"

"Sure."

I knew right then that something bad was going on. For as much joy as wrestling has given me over the years it also is a business mired in tragedy. The business seems to swallow people whole rather than reward them.

I made small talk with this girl. She was very grateful for how nice our team was to her (I had offered Ibuprofen and IcyHot, Cass had lent a pressure wrap) so she had made us cookies. I was amazed at how nice that was and how happy she seemed despite having a very thick, visible brace on her most likely tender ankle. At the same time, I was burning with dread for what my brother would say as soon as I would speak with him.

We said our goodbyes and I immediately brought the phone to my ear. My brother and I had a brief exchange before he said:

"Chris Benoit and his family were found dead."

The rest of the conversation was just discussing our confusion and speculating as to what could be happening. None of this made sense. I played an awful game that night and our team was crushed by Colyn Flynn's team. Cass played like a stud. My head wasn't in the game. I went home and immediately went on the internet to see if there was anything that could help me make sense of this. I was sad and upset. A lot of this came from the fact that not only was Chris Benoit dead, but his family as well. Wrestlers had died, essentially just from being wrestlers. Eddie, recently. But his family?

I missed Raw that night. Apparently it was an emotional tribute to Chris Benoit. At the time, I was sorry I missed it because it was very heartfelt and real with messages from Chavo and Dean, two of Chris's best friends, as well as others.

I woke up the next morning hoping something would happen that would cheer me up and clear up some confusion. It didn't. The news was indicating that the deaths of Chris Benoit, Nancy Benoit, and Daniel Benoit were the result of a double homicide/suicide perpetrated by Chris Benoit.

All the sadness turned to anger. The confusion remained. How could you have done this Chris? What possible reason could there be?

Frustration has set in. In an act of violence Chris Benoit has made it impossible for me to feel anything but anger towards him. I can't imagine a point when I can watch one of his matches again and enjoy it. WWE had to issue an apology for airing a tribute to him.

How can I mourn a fallen hero when I no longer idolize him and instead resent him? Kirby Puckett abused his wife but when I was young he was one of my heroes. His death was a tragedy. I could remember the good times then. Chris Benoit's death was a senseless act of violence carried out by an unstable man. I cannot remember anything but pain.

I feel sorrow now, for Nancy and Daniel, as well as the surviving members of the family and their loved ones. But mostly I feel anger. I had said that for sixteen years all Chris Benoit did was devote his life to entertaining me as a wrestling fan. That is no longer true. He has taken my ability to be a fan of his away.

Eventually the anger will go away and be replaced by something else. Until then, I just push it away and focus on the good things in my life. These things will no longer include Chris Benoit. And this is his punishment. He will not be remembered or memorialized. He will be resented and despised as he should be.

The confusion will always be there. This will never make sense.

Capricious

Cass has been gone all week. Taking care of the Cheese has been fun but he started limping today so it's possible that she will murder me tomorrow.

My arm was sore for the beginning of the week but it feels fine now. I need to calm down with my throws from the outfield plus frisbee.

Tryouts again this weekend followed by a game. I am psyched but a bit nervous. I am by far the shortest male at the practices so I have to do more to stand out.

It's my last day at my old job (well, until I start my new one, I may pick up some hours on odd days) and all I did up until now was work. This was self driven work. I thought I would check out but I find myself neck deep in a task before I realize that I'm even working. Not to say that I'm having a blast, just my mind is turned off but still running.

I beat Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time last night after a bout of frustration. The game is fun and the puzzle solving is exciting. Too bad they took a lot of it out in the sequels to make way for more fighting, which sucks.

I am reading Moneyball right now. I will do a full review when I'm done but one thing I wanted to say right now is I'd be interested if anyone has done a retrospective on players mentioned in the book. I'll elaborate later. This is how we foreshadow.

I bought my Dad two books for Father's Day: Up Front and The Death of WCW. My father can appreciate WWII cartoon history and wrestling history. If you know that and that he plays golf that's a pretty thorough character sketch right there.

Mouthful of Ledger

O'Halloran was in town for the gala opening of Nicolas's studio. I'm told it was a nice time. I missed it for a work BBQ that was enjoyably relaxed with good food. I did get to drink with K-Hall after and last night as well. It is always a good time when he is around, even if handjobs are the major topic of discussion.

I got a new bike. I bought the Kona Smoke. Thank you Nate for the head's up on this bike as I love it and can't wait to take it on a real ride. I will bike to the game today so that's a little taste of city riding for me. I had them remove the fenders and replace the handlebars as I didn't like the look and feel of the bike with riser bars. I feel like PeeWee Herman riding a bike with risers so unless I was ready to go on a soul searching adventure through America's heartland with a cast of miscreants I wanted a different look for my bike.

Looking forward to Wicked Awesome style gameplay (which sounds like a video game feature) in about an hour. I'm sure we will have a great time.

Cass is in NC. Although I miss her already it is good bonding time with Chuckles. Cass, hope you are having so much fun you don't have time to read this.

I need a haircut.

Gone for a while, but I'm home

I apologize to anyone who reads this blog because you are someone who actively cares about me. I have been away for a good while and instead of having a good excuse or tales of wonder to share this paragraph is just a display of my ineptitude as a writer.

The big news of course is that I was offered a job. Not a job like a place that will employ me for an hourly wage but a career job. I am supposed to start the middle of this month even but we will see if that actually happens. Most importantly, this will keep me in Chicago for a few years at least. I am a combination of excited and terrified with a hint of determination. It feels like my first day of mountain climbing school.

This is news I have to declare. I will post more this week as I should have time to do so.

End communication.

Unnecessary Movie Review: Spider-Man 3

I decided to hold off doing this review until I was sure how I felt about the movie.

Overall, the movie was lacking in story. The previous two movies were visually pleasing and involving. This one had me feeling disinterested for the most part. It is still visually pleasing and some of the fight scenes would be the best in the series if the train scene in 2 didn't exist.

Goodness:
-Action scenes were well done.
-CGI is the best of the three films
-Bruce Campbell is all kinds of great.
-Bryce Dallas Howard makes Kirsten Dunst look like an elfish shrew.

I have a lot of problems with the film but it probably has a lot to do with expectations. I think a second viewing might lighten my stance on some of these things. The crying needs to go. This is actually my second biggest complaint about the film. My biggest?

Spoiler Alert. Skip to the bottom if you have not seen the movie and want to be surprised.







I was hoping the previews were misleading in some way but they were not and Sandman is actually responsible for killing Spider-Man's Uncle Ben. This irritates me to no end. In some sense Peter is still responsible for his death because the other robber was involved, but it still destroys part of the origin story and motivations for Spider-Man. I am not happy about this change.

For those who think I just don't get it, believe me I do. Absolution for Peter's actions as Venom had to come in some way but I didn't think this should be the way.







End Spoiler

Overall I didn't enjoy the movie all that much when I saw it. I am willing to give it a second chance. It's still better than half of the comic book movies made so far.

Let this abomination before God commence!

Cass gave Charlie a haircut the other day. He now looks like Seymore Asses, Fry's dog from Futurama. Photographic evidence.


Had a great time in Champaign-Urbana. Jay's Birthday was celebrated with steaks at Alexander's (I really have to cook my own meat?) followed by drinks at Crane Alley. Saturday we saw Spider-Man 3 (Unnecessary Review forthcoming, I know you wait with baited breath) and then celebrated Cinco de Mayo at three different parties. I thought the days of getting drunk at my friend's keggers were over but just when I think I'm out, they blah blah this is overdone.

Only thing of note today was that I had a long morning of work and then came home. Jay was over hanging out and waiting to go to dinner. I had laundry that I had to do today so I went to Morley's and got that in before going to dinner. I then went back to finish laundry. When I got home Cass asked if I was ok and then accused me of being pissy at dinner. Looking back I realize that I may have been a little bit for no reason other than frustrated at a long day of work and having to do laundry. My apologies to all those who ate dinner with me, especially Cass and Jay.

Instead of doing an Unnecessary Book Review that no one will read, I will instead stick a one sentence review of The Devil's Disciple by Judy Miller Snavely here at the end that no one will read. I didn't particularly find the story to be uniquely interesting and the writing style was off-putting in that she chooses strange times to editorialize, as well as strange times to not editorialize.

How's this for gay???

Had a good weekend in Milwaukee. It was all about relaxing whether that meant just hanging out at the Art Museum or doing shots of Wild Turkey.

My friends got me really drunk on Friday night. We got wasted and went out to a local bar called Yield. It was a good time but my friends don't do much of anything in moderation. Cass got along with my friends and they liked her enough to get her wasted by feeding her shots.

Saturday we went to the Art Museum with Luke, Katie, Andre and Katie. It was a good time joking around with each other in between mocking a lot of the crap there. There were a lot of good pieces too but I mostly remember the fun mocking. Then we went and ate manly meals at Water Street Brewery.

Saturday night was spent relaxing after a long day out. Late in the evening, we got hungry again so Cass and I took a trip to the "local" Taco Bell. On the way back, in a dark strip of the road, I hit a deer. It rolled over the top and very little damage was done to the car. The deer however most certainly broke its legs as it was struggling at the side of the road. We pulled over and called the police to come take care of it. Cass and I waited until the policeman arrived. He got out and began approaching us but stopped to examine the deer. Without warning he drew his pistol and fired a shot into the deer. Cass watched this and recoiled in horror. I tried to console her as the policeman examined more closely. Just as Cass said "Well at least he's dead now," and turned to look again, the policeman fired another shot.

Sunday we went out and got ice cream and bought plants for my brother and sister-in-law. Then we went over to Chuck's and Cass got to experience the Wii. Together we beat everyone else in Wii Bowling thanks to a 29 pin final frame by Cass.

P.S. The above video was posted to remind you not to f*** with polar bears. The previous video was posted to remind you how weird German people are.

German polar bears that won't murder you.

Unnecessary Book Review: The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid

This was my first experience reading Bill Bryson. I had heard good things about him from my father, Colin, Cass, various dogs, etc. I must say I was not disappointed.

This story is the autobiography of Bill Bryson's childhood. It is interwoven with childhood fantasies but for the most part is a nonfiction retelling of life in the Midwest during the 50s and 60s. Bryson does a good job of describing the world without dwelling on detail. The reader is allowed to fill in small details with how they would picture this world to be and it makes for a powerful visual image.

Bryson's writing style is humorous and good-natured. There is very little animosity in his words and when it does appear it is almost always done for effect, be it a laugh or otherwise. He seems so earnest in his desire to chronicle what Des Moines was as opposed to self-glamorization, as if it were a cherished uncle sharing stories at a funeral to remind everyone how great things used to be.

What are some bad things about the book? You are such a negative Nancy sometimes, imaginary reader. Well, the book does jump around a lot between descriptions of childhood and descriptions of American life in general. This is done mostly to aid the reader's understanding of things. Only once did I find a general life description to be carrying on. Also, a bit of the humor and exposition is clearly aimed at an older audience (read: your parents) but I can appreciate this as the book was lent to me by my father.

The book is not deep. There are no secrets hiding behind the surface. The book is a story of a kid's life, not anything more. This is not a criticism of the book at all. It is not always necessary to use symbolism and weave a morality tale into a simple story (do you hear me M. Night Shamaylan?!!!).

Overall, the book was a simple joy. I imagine my father enjoyed the book more than I did. I hope to see him soon to talk to him about it and thank him. I look forward to sampling Bryson's fiction work in the future.

Favorite part: The licorice baby story. By far.

Unnecessary Movie Review: Muppet Treasure Island

Let me start by saying I love the Muppets. I will probably never stop loving Muppets. There is no reason not to love Muppets.

That being said, Muppet movies can be difficult to watch sometimes. You definitely have to be in the right mood to watch people interacting with socks and get enjoyment out of it.

This is by far the best of the Brian Henson Muppet features. It has a lot of great comedic moments in it and some outstanding (read "over the top") performances from Tim Curry and John Cleese. Gonzo is great here as usual. Oh, and there are pirates and monkeys and Muppets.

There is a lot of bad about this movie that you should keep in mind. As with all Muppet films (with the exception of the first) there are at least two song/dance numbers that are terrible. Miss Piggy sucks. The main actor who plays Jim Hawkins sucks. Rowlf has no lines in the movie.

Overall, this is a great Muppet film that starts very strong and keeps going for the first hour or so and then kind of tails off into comedic purgatory. I'd say add it to your list if you've never seen it but hold off on watching it until you are in a goofy mood.

Muppet List-o-Mania

Top Muppet Movies:
1. The Muppet Movie
2. Muppet Treasure Island
3. The Great Muppet Caper
4. Muppet Christmas Carol
5. Muppets Take Manhattan

Top 5 Muppets
1. The Great Gonzo
2. Rowlf
3. All of the Electric Mayhem
4. Statler & Waldorf
5. Sweet 'Ums

Top 5 Non-Muppet Creations of Jim Henson's Studio:
1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
2. Jim Henson's Storyteller
3. Fraggle Rock
4. The Dark Crystal
5. Farscape

Rowlf and Fozzie (probably the 6th best Muppet)

It's hard out here for a gimp (a pun).

Cass's ankle is doing much better now and she played soccer last night. It was great to see her out there because when she has to sit around inside all day for a week and can't run around she gets stir crazy. She played well. We connected on a perfect cross for a goal. The assist was done with dedicated professionalism and the finish was done with a flair. Woooooo!!!!

I played in my first Spring League Ultimate games this past Saturday. It was fun but challenging. I signed up with Cass for the Simpsons (non-competitive/beginner) league. I was the best player on the field for either team both games (told to me by outside sources, not me bragging). It made things difficult because I could tell my team was relying on me to make a play most times. This results in a lot of running for me and pushing myself harder. It will make for an interesting season but I'm sure I'm capable because I'm awesome and have a great body (again, not me bragging, your mom told me that).

And now for no good reason, certainly not because anyone demanded it, are my top five albums released since I got to college.

1. Bloc Pary - Silent Alarm
2. The New Pornographers - The Electric Version
3. The Thermals - The Body, The Blood, The Machine
4. Motion City Soundtrack - I Am The Movie
5. Alkaline Trio - Crimson

That's in no particular order and off the top of my head. I'm sure if I spent some time pontificating and perusing my collection I might make some changes, but then again if I didn't think of it right away how great could it have been?

For fun:

Happy Easter Y'all

Quite the weekend coming up. I have:
-A soccer brunch
-Frisbee games
-A solo drive to my brother's
-Easter lunch at Grandma's
-Work to finish

I am not attending church for Easter this year. Jesus did die at some point though so I feel a little bad about this. I may paint some eggs.

Alanis Morissette makes me smile

Unnecessary Movie Review: Treasure of the Sierra Madre

In conclusion, Humphrey Bogart is great and so is everything he does.

This movie really is a classic, and it deserves this acclaim. Every actor in this film turns in a solid performance and is believable in their role. Bogart is of course awesome but in a different way as he is the least likable character in the film. The direction does a good job of relating the characters' isolation and desperation. The score is solid.

I have a very limited number of complaints about the film. It does move a little slowly in the beginning and in the very middle. There are quite a few scenes that seemed unnecessary. The morals tend to be repeated or spelled out so clearly that there is little to nothing that needs to be interpreted.

Overall the film is excellent even if it is a tad long. I would recommend that it be added to your queue fo sho.

With appreciation for Woody

Quote of this past week:

Cass (after catching the disc for an hour and a half): "I can't feel my hand anymore!"

Matt W: "We call that the stranger."



"You don't post that much lately." says the imaginary fan of my work.

"I've been doing a lot of stuff" I say, which is the common excuse used by neglectful bloggers everywhere. "That and not much has been going on."

Are these excuses valid? Depends, what are you demanding? Are they true? Absolutely.

What have I been up to?

-Played my last game of indoor soccer, I hope ever. It was fine I guess and I love my teammates (..for he who sheds his blood with me on this day shall be my brother...) but indoor is too confined, too much of a melee, and not nearly the same as being outside. Thanks for a great season anyway 4 Ton Mantis. Congrats to BJ, Cass, and Scrappy for their awards, which were all well deserved.

-Got really drunk on St. Patty's and went to two great parties. Thanks to the hosts: Janice and the Frisbee guys. I got probably top ten of all time style wasted and got slapped around by a lot of people. Then some asshole broke a glass over a drinking game.

-Teaching Cass how to play Ultimate. She is taking to it well, although she is her own worst critic. She's going to rock once we get on the field and the other girls can't keep up with her.

-Played soccer tonight at the lighted courts at Sheridan. Had a blast, but exhausted myself. My legs feel like rubber and my eyes are playing tricks on me so I think I'm updating my blog but I'm probably busy typing on the blender right now. Thanks to those who played: Oli Oli Oxenfree, Drogos the Dragon, Twinkletoes, the Diplomat, and Anne (who I just met tonight but I will invent a nickname for right now) the Super Turbo Ghost Ninja.

Also I plan on writing a movie review tomorrow. I am going to start reviewing films I Netflix in hopes that you (the rest of the blogging community) will do the same so that we can have a streamlined Netflix system between us (move recommendations up, lampoons down).

A docent portrayal.

I played host this past weekend for my brother and sister-in-law. They had Monday off so they came down for the weekend and we hit up MSI, the Field, and the Shedd. Good times were had by all.

MSI needs to be renovated. I mean a complete overhaul. I had been there two years ago and I liked it then but when I saw it this time I realized how rarely they update anything. A good hint is how all the computers and videos have the obvious imprint of the 80s on them. Of all the types of museums in existence a science museum should be updated most regularly to stay current.

The Field is the same as it always is, interesting and large yet somewhat tedious at times. I do enjoy myself there but it is the museum I visit most often with guests due to its location. The nature/animal section seems to go on for miles. Sue is still there and she is still a beauty. The Egyptian tomb remains unchanged, which might be an interesting commentary on something if I could piece together a decent analytical sentence.

The Shedd was enjoyable as always. They provide a good mix of things so that you are not just looking at fish tank after fish tank. The lizard exhibit was exceptionally well done but as always the best parts are the otters and penguins. Scariest exhibit were the ants after Cass educated me on exactly how these particular ants would kill me.

A note of chauvinism: The Field has an overabundance of hottie hot hots. I do not know why this is but the other two museums were far behind in the physical attractiveness of patrons, and that's not just because I was there.

Unnecessary Book Review: The Cobweb

Recently finished reading The Cobweb by Neal Stephenson and J. Frederick George. My thoughts:

-Really interesting to read a book from Stephenson set entirely in a time frame I experienced.

-Carl Banks ranks among the most kickass of Stephenson characters, those being Nell, Y.T., and Bobby Shaftoe.

-Stephenson is an amazing author when it comes to mixing intellectual thought with action. The story is well thought out and involving.

Where does this rank among my favorite Stephenson books? I would say it was better or on par with Snow Crash but still not as good as Diamond Age or Cryptonomicon. However among all the books of his that I have ever read this one strikes me as the easiest to make the transition to film/TV.

This is super relevant because of this article that makes me all happy on the insides.

Overall, this book is fun and smart. The characters feel very real and I felt sincere concern for their well-being. I give it one thumbstar out of zero.

Favorite part: Stephenson's exposition on a grad student having to write grants and include specific language that doesn't mean anything (buzzwords) to get more money. Terms like "negative body count." That kind of nonsense was very familiar.

This is ruining my birthday.

Thanks to all who made it out for our birthday celebration on Sat. I had a blast and it was great to see everyone. Special thanks to Tom and Jay for driving the furthest to be there and helping with the setup/cleanup of the party.

It's my birthday and I had to wake up an hour earlier than usual to be at work for a conference call.

Keep an eye on Cass's blog for pictures from the party.

Work? No. Today's gonna be a holiday.

Joint Birthday party for myself, Cass, and Colyn.

My place. 8pm. Saturday the 24th.

You are invited. Bring booze, we will have food.

If you need directions, email or call.

When you're mining for coal and you forget what coal is...

I've had kind of a spacy week. It started out with Martha lashing into me with a sarcastic barb that to be fair I probably deserved.

Last week Wed. was Valentine's Day which came and passed as it does every year for me: without fanfare. My feelings on Valentine's Day are as follows: yes, it is a greeting card holiday but what is the harm of doing something nice for each other?

That night we had co-ed ultimate practice and I convinced Cass to come play. She had previously mentioned that I never invite her to come learn the sport that I devote so much of my time to so on the evening in question I forced her to come play. We had a good time.

Thursday was Cass's birthday. Fortunately for me I had a meeting downtown (Sears Tower, 50 somthingth floor!) so I had a chance to stop by and pick up a new soccer ball and some socks for her. That night we had a good game and another victory for 4 Ton Mantis. Cass's parents and Jay watched us play which was fun and later Colin and Nate joined us at Tuman's for a birthday celebration. Cass got drunk, which as I said before is more cute than anything else.

Friday evening I took Cass out to dinner for her birthday. Dinner at Rosal's is always good. This time I got veal, which made me wonder what baby everything tastes like. I had a good time. Afterwards we journeyed to Logan Square for a night of poker. I lost my $10, mostly to Nate I believe. I'm okay with this since his hair is growing out and I can convince myself that I lost my money to a feudal lord.

Saturday I had an ultimate game against DePaul. We won 17-10 in about three inches of snow. It was a blast but it didn't really help us evaluate anything in the way of what we need to work on. Sloppy conditions more than lack of experience changed the game. Saturday night Andre and Katie were in town for Katie's birthday and they invited me and Cass downtown for dinner and drinks along with Katie's brothers and Gabe and Emily. These people are always good company. Andre was entertaining as always.

Sunday morning I made waffles and had Ultimate practice. Practice turned out to be a good workout and strategy session. Our meeting after was entertaining and productive. Then we went to Logan Square for games and conversation that was not productive and only marginally entertaining. Then I stopped talking to the dog and had a good time with everyone there.

As I typed all that out I realized I had a busy week last week. That's what I meant when I said it was a spacy week because I barely remember