It's broken.

My hand is more stiff than anything else. Interestingly the most common question I get is "Were you safe?", as if this would make the whole thing worth it.

I'm really only pissed because Hallowinona is this weekend. I am still playing for the record.

Marathon Man(ia)

Cass and I volunteered at the Chicago Marathon this past weekend. We worked a Sprint booth looking up runners for people to tell them their pace, when they past checkpoints, etc. We were in Chinatown (Cermak and Wentworth). Some highlights:

-We arrived and locked our bikes to a bike rack on what I thought was the North side of the street. Cass helpfully pointed out that it was the South side.
-Cass got breakfast Chinese hot pockets for 75 cents each. The little c with a line through it on the menu confused her as to how much they wanted for them, thinking maybe it was Chinese currency.
-Sprint helpfully supplied us with black cotton t-shirts for volunteering in 95 degree weather.
-Some spectator came up and asking "What are you guys here for?" My helpful reply: "It's for the marathon."
-We borrowed a chair from some helpful firemen with awesome mustaches.
-I convinced myself that I could outsprint the Kenyan running team for 100 yards on the condition that the race starts 21 miles into them running a marathon.
-We stopped at Panera on the way home for lunch (6.5 hours out in the heat). On the way home was the real highlight of the day but Cass has to tell the story.

This picture disgusts.

When asked how he could make such a blunder considering he is the franchise player for the Cavs, Lebron said: "Maybe the Knicks wouldn't be so bad. They just play terribly, call women b****** and not give a f***. That's funny to me."

Later in the day Mike Ditka was seen in a Favre jersey.

I think they took a team shower with whore juice.

I had a good weekend out of town playing ultimate with the UIC men. We came into the tourney seeded 16th and finished 8th so that's an accomplishment. Our record also fails to illustrate the progress made by many of our inexperienced players. Watching someone catch their first goal in competitive play is wonderful.

I do have one funny anecdote over the weekend I would like to mention. The tournament was hosted by UW-Whitewater. Whitewater, Wisconsin is a small community just across the border on I-90. The team hosted a party at a bar in town. After our game against UWW (1 seed, we took first half, they were upset) we asked them about the party and got our bracelets. They guy handing us bracelets says "Oh, and the Bud Light girls will probably be out." Some guys on the team made the obligatory catcalls.

Fastforward to the party that night at the bar. I am hanging out with Julius getting really drunk (free beer) when all of a sudden I am overcome by the smell of jasmine and skank. I wheel my head to see three clubber girls walking through the crowd towards the back of the bar. The smell really was overpowering and keep in mind this is in a bar in rural(ish?) Wisconsin. Julius and I make a few choice remarks as to the promiscuous nature that the smell implies and then settle in to drinking again.

Later in the evening I feel the aura approaching again and this time I wheel my head to see the same girls now with Bud Light visors on their heads handing out free buttons and bottle openers.

One of the great advantages of Chicago is that when the Bud Light girls are going to be out that means supermodels wearing reavealing spandex. In Whitewater, it means they find three marginally attractive clubrats and dunk them in White Diamonds.

Avoid Whitewater, WI.