Happy Thanksgiving

Hope everyone had a good holiday. This song was chosen not based on nothing.

You and me we were the pretenders
We let it all slip away
In the end what you don't surrender
Well the world just strips away
Girl, ain't no kindness in the face of strangers
Ain't gonna find no miracles here
Well you can wait on your blesses my darling
I got a deal for you right here
I ain't looking for praise or pity
I ain't coming 'round searching for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that human touch
Just a little of that human touch

Ain't no mercy on the streets of this town
Ain't no bread from heavenly skies
Ain't nobody drawing wine from this blood
It's just you and me tonight
Tell me, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm asking is too much
I just want something to hold on to
And a little of that human touch
Just a little of that human touch

Oh girl that feeling of safety that you prize
Well it comes at a hard hard price
You can't shut off the risk and the pain
Without losing the love that remains
We're all riders on this train

So you've been broken and you've been hurt
Show me somebody who ain't
Yeah, i know i ain't nobody's bargain
But, hell, a little touch up and a little paint...
You might need something to hold on to
When all the answers, they don't amount to much
Somebody that you could just to talk to
And a little of that human touch
Baby, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm asking is too much
I just want to feel you in my arms
Share a little of that human touch
Feel a little of that human touch
Give me a little of that human touch

OMG

So one of the things that Cass does that makes me love her so is sending me pictures during lunch. Cass gets to stop home for lunch now that she's so close to home. I used to do this when we lived in the West Loop and it was great to see the pups in the middle of the day. Cass knows I miss this so she sends me pictures during her break of the pups or sometimes of random things (i.e. a bag of Oreos we forgot about that she stumbled upon).

Today I get a message with the only text reading "OMG." Here is the picture that came with it:

So just a quick note that if anyone out there thought they had the cutest dog in the world they were wrong.

Colin and Kristin's wedding was a blast. It was great to see O'Holl and Jenny, Dave and Mendy, Nate and Laura, Angela and all the other travelers in addition to everyone else. I had a great time and they really did things right.

I think we are removed enough from the event that I can reveal that Cass got ridiculously sick after the wedding. That's why we were only at the afterparty for maybe ten minutes. Sorry we couldn't hang out more but you can only cram so much enjoyment in one night.

To Colin and Kristin: I think you guys managed to beat us for farthest guest voyage for attendance. I am impressed.

For Colin and Kristin

It's not Thanksgiving yet but it's a more important day.

I've been working real hard, trying to get my hands clean,
Tonight we'll drive that dusty road from Monroe to Angeline,
To buy you a gold ring and pretty dress of blue,
Baby just one kiss will get these things for you,
A kiss to seal our fate tonight,
A kiss to prove it all night.

Prove it all night,
Girl there's nothing else that we can do,
So prove it all night, prove it all night,
And girl I'll prove it all night for you.

Everybody's got a hunger, a hunger they can't resist,
There's so much that you want, you deserve much more than this,
But if dreams came true, oh, wouldn't that be nice,
But this ain't no dream we're living through tonight,
Girl, you want it, you take it, you pay the price.

Prove it all night, prove it all night girl and call the bluff,
prove it all night, prove it all night and girl,
I prove it all night for your love.

Baby, tie your hair back in a long white bow,
Meet me in the fields out behind the dynamo,
You hear the voices telling you not to go,
They made their choices and they'll never know,
What it means to steal, to cheat, to lie,
What it's like to live and die.

To prove it all night...

HIMYMYABTT

That stands for How I Met Your Mother You Are Better Than This.

A while back I had a conversation with someone not imaginary (this isn't a standup bit) about the best shows on TV and they picked HIMYM for best comedy. I said I could respect the decision but couldn't agree because the show falls back on sitcom conventions a lot and while it does them well I like a show like Community that tries off-the-wall things and uses conventions to misdirect. But this post isn't about how great Community is, it's about how terrible this past episode of HIMYM was and how the show is capable of better.

The episode was a post-Halloween one and the plots were all trite and dumb. Examine:

- Marshall fires a coworker and has an attack of conscience. The guy wanted to be fired for the severance so Marshall when hires him back and he purposely tries to get fired.
THE TRITE: This is pretty standard for a sensitive-male character on a sitcom. Also the guy getting fired and wanting to be fired so he does his job poorly is pretty well worn territory too.
THE DUMB: First any attack of conscience Marshall had should've been gone when he found out Randy wanted to be fired. It takes bizarre sitcom logic to decide that hiring someone back who wanted to be fired is a moral highpoint. Second, no one can make you take a job back. Once he was fired Randy could've just walked. And lastly a person actively trying to get fired and doing so much wrong can be fired for cause. A standard clause in any job is that if you are fired for cause you are not entitled to benefits. This is a storyline that only works in a sitcom universe that ignores real world logic.

- Ted is popular with his students and is the "cool teacher." This all changes when the girl who is protesting the building he designing for GNB joins his class and turns his class against him.
THE TRITE: Someone from outside a character's job invading his job life and wrapping personal issue up in the professional life is basic sitcom storyline #8.
THE DUMB: This storyline bothered me like crazy. Ted can be really hard to like at times but this was a time when I hated him. Being the cool teacher who's friends with all his students is not a good thing. The only people who like those kinds of teachers are idiots. As a professor you don't want your student's friendship, you want their respect. This is obvious to anyone who has ever taught and the more you try to be a friend the less respect you will get. I'm not saying you have to be mean and humorless. Students respect human beings so be human but playing hackysack and grabbing beers with your students is the dumbest thing ever and doesn't make him sympathetic. I can't believe it took the whole episode for him to come even close to this realization and tell his students to stop behaving like petulant brats. Also the protest is dumb and the argument against it isn't "boo-freaking-hoo," it's "if no buildings ever got torn down because they were old then no buildings would ever get built." It's New York and old buildings are everywhere. If one is run down and falling apart ripping it down isn't a disgrace, it's a good idea and progress.

- Robin is feeling jealous of the attention her co-anchor is getting for a commercial she did and because she's cute. Robin goes out and shoots an embarrassing commercial for adult diapers.
THE TRITE: Embarrassing commercials are pretty standard and adult diapers is a pretty easy target.
THE DUMB: This commercial would never exist. It is beyond stupid even in a sitcom world. Also compromising like this makes it seem like Robin's professionalism is a mask and that she really wants attention. I can understand her feeling a little miffed at all the attention Becky receives but I can't understand her deciding the best thing to do is sell-out her ideals and do a commercial just like Becky did.

All of this stuff is annoying and made for a crappy episode even if some moments were amusing. What really pushed it over the top was the guys and their after Halloween ritual of standing on the stoop mocking the people doing costumed walk-of-shames in the morning. I don't have a problem with this as a premise in itself but the problem was the execution. The guys stand on the stoop and mock women for hooking up with people the night before. The jokes are all costume based but it comes across as incredibly misogynistic. Mocking guys in the same way should've been no problem and Lily could've joined in too just for some balance on the other side as well. It seems especially misogynistic for Barney to be out there doing it when he is guilty of hooking up with random girls all the time. It really made me hate all of the guys on the show.

The point is HIMYM can be a really good show at times and the writing is clever. This was not their finest moment; it may have been their worst. There was little to no purpose to anything in the episode at all and the morning-after slut-shaming scene is one of the worst things I've seen on TV in a while. Keep in mind I watch like four TV shows. I'm sure there are people on reality TV that are doing worse things as I type this.

I voted based entirely on funny anagrams I could make with the candidates' names.

Random Tuesday Thoughts:

- I voted today. It felt good as it had been some time since I did that. I don't know, when I was renting year to year registering to vote seemed like a hassle. Well now I'm a homeowner and have opinions that can be translated to an integer increase next to someone's name. USA! USA! USA!

- Congrats to the Giants. I didn't have any vested interest in the series and would've been happier to see it go to a sixth game at least. Oh well. That pitching staff is awesome (seriously that MVP trophy should've read "Every Giants Pitcher except Jonathan Sanchez) and all locked up until 2012 at the earliest. Pretty awesome. Hahaha the highest paid player on their roster is Barry Zito. People who don't laugh at that don't know what a baseball is.

- Chicagoween was a success. I married the right woman.

- Fielder gets cuter everyday and Charlie is seriously the best big brother. Hi Luke.

- Community is still the best show even though Parks and Rec not being on is bumming me out something crazy.

Quizzical Sunday

A few questions as I work on my homework:

1) How careful do I have to be when doing Michael additions to pay attention to possible formation of cyclic structures? It seems like a lot.

2) Which team do I hate more: the Vikings or the Cowboys? Can they both lose? That would be super.

3) Who do I root for in the baseball playoffs now? The answer to this one is players instead of teams. There's Kinsler and I love that guy. Halladay is a beast and I'd love to see him succeed in the postseason. Giants have Uribe who I like simply because if you read a box score quickly it looks like Juribe. Even the Yankees have Swisher and my defensive rooting of ARod simply because of all the "True Yankee" garbage.

4) Is there anything cuter than the sight of my wife napping while cuddling both of our pups?

CT's bachelor party was fun. I'm not 22 anymore and staying out until 3AM means an unproductive Saturday.

The answer to #4 above is no.

This space is designated for well wishes in the direction of Jay. Hope you get better and we discussed it: through it all you stood your ground. There's some pride in that.

Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.

Cass and I watched Heist last night although there were about two too many twists and anticipated setups by Hackman. Seriously the whole time anything would happen I would just assume Hackman planned for this and sure enough he did. Gene Hackman is great in this and if I had to pick an actor perfect for a Mamet script it would probably be him.

It was a good movie overall and I didn't know Sam Rockwell was in it. See Moon if you haven't before I forget.

Where does Heist stack up on the Mamet scale?

1. Redbelt
2. Spartan
3. State and Main
4. Heist
5. The Spanish Prisoner

I still have to see Homicide, Things Change, Oleanna and The Winslow Boy.

Has anyone ever watched The Unit? It seems pretty trite, probably because it's shot in CBS's old-folk-pleasing style.

Eli's coming, and Rahm's already here

There's a strangeness about today.

I was apparently a reckless sleeper last night. Cass told me that as she dropped me off. Maybe my psyche sensed strange omens approaching. I walked from the car to the train station wondering what made me uneasy last night. I resolved that it must be test anxiety as I walked past Rahm Emanuel. Why he was shaking hands at the Blue Line station is less worrisome than the question of why today? The ride itself was uneventful, the occasional train smell actually instilled a sense of normalcy. Then I got off the train and walked towards my lab and into chaos. I wasn't around when this happened but instead bore witness to the frenzied response. There were at least twenty cop cars surrounding the station. For the record that is somewhere in the neighborhood of 15-18 too many for post-incident response. I guess they had to secure the area. I'm going to secure mine before anything else happens.

This is a strange day. I just hope Tom Sizemore doesn't try to kill me.

Muevela: the best and worst of it

It was a rough weekend. We played in our last ultimate tourney of the season and we did not do well as a team. We lost an important game to a really inferior team 17-16. It was frustrating because we beat ourselves, making dumb decisions and mistakes in every aspect of the game. I played fine with zero turns and getting bookends on my last point of the game. Unfortunately that was to put us up 11-9 at the time and I never got a chance to come back in due to a heavy roster and unwillingness on my part to race people to the line or call someone off. It was a learning experience (I hope) for all of us and I did have a lot of fun with this team.

It should come as no surprise that Cass absolutely dominated in her one game on Sunday.

Saturday night was an ultimate party. Cass and I still like to get out and enjoy ourselves with the younger kids but sometimes it is very sobering to realize how much older we are. I hope that doesn't sound judgmental because I like all of them and they can do whatever they want to have fun (short of hurting someone else), it's just that Cass and I don't feel any compulsion to join in.

Cass has taken over Halloween planning and she is a million times better, cuter and funnier than I could ever be. It's unreal how wonderful she is.

A lot of friends did do well on the weekend so congrats to Maker, Gambit and Ibex.

Call him Buzz to keep it straight.

We had a nice weekend in the burbs with our parents. My mom and dad came down to stay with the Hatzes. We mostly relaxed and just enjoyed being together. The ladies did some shopping and they all bought me things to look more respectable. My parents also brought down cherry pie and chippers so much desserting was had.

We also played golf and I lost probably ten balls. It was a rough talk like a pirate day. I failed to shoot PAARRRRR even once.

Also we watched Wall Street. It's amazing how all 80's movies, even ones directed by Oliver Stone, look the same and are paced the same. Aside from Michael Douglas's performance (and Gekko isn't that incredible of a character; maybe he was innovative for the time?) this movie is pretty thin.

/shrugs

What can I say? Sorry for not posting? I've been avoiding it. How do I sum up everything I've done this summer in any sort of concise way?

It's been the most significant summer of my life. I will look back on it fondly and enjoy it but I have no desire to try to write about it. Aside from taking too much time I don't know how to write it without it turning into just a long gushing love letter to my wife.

My wife.

Things are great. Our life is good. I'll start writing about stuff again. I don't know. You were all there for the wedding. You weren't there for the honeymoon but that was for us. Thank you everyone for being everyone.

1 Down

We have had so much going on lately, to the point where putting in the effort to commit these things to writing seems monumental. I don't want to shortchange things but here it is in simple list form: grad school, Buick, fellowship, Francesca's, soccer, Zombieland, Chip, Buick, and invitations.

The heart of what's important: Cass and I are homeowners now. I didn't want to write about it before or post pictures because I didn't want to get too hopeful or jinx anything until the deal was done. The deal is done.
Here's the front of our house. It is a one story bungalow in the Norwood Park area. Notice how the first floor is actually raised a bit more than normal. That means our basement has full sized windows, which is awesome. Among the bushes in the front are a couple that Cass has already identified as invasive species that she has to get rid of in order to be able to sleep at night.

Here's the backyard facing the garage. This area will be known as Puppy Playland. Cass gave it the name. I wanted to go with The Danger Zone but Cass didn't think it was edgy enough.

Here's the back of the house. That awning will be coming down yesterday. You can see the basement windows here. The NFL fined me $5000 for the Captain Morgan pose.

Immediately behind the front door is a mirror that covers the entire wall of the front hallway. One of our first projects is figuring out how to remove it (whatever is holding it up is hidden away) without breaking it. If that can't be done we are breaking it.

Here's our living room facing the front window. The mint carpet is coming out in favor of the hardwood underneath. That is not Hal that Cass is leaning on. It's also not any number of other helper robot jokes I could make. It's a fireplace.

This is the upstairs bathroom. I'm guessing I will be relegated to the downstairs one pretty immediately after we move in.

This is the kitchen from the living room hallway. In the back is our massive six-burner oven with a side thing of purpose(s) unknown.

Here's the main bedroom. The closet to the left is sizable. Cass could do the same pose in there pretty easily. The carpet is coming out here too. The carpet is coming out everywhere except the basement.

Here's the middle bedroom. The wallpaper would be less outrageous if it were a magic eye image. That is coming down.

This is the back bedroom off of the kitchen. It gets good sun in the afternoons. There is currently no door on the room so we can't keep the bodies in here.

In the basement now and this is the laundry area and the happy homemaker. Just kidding. She's the sugar mama for a while.

This longview of the basement is from the bottom of the steps. Notice the awesome poker hall from the 60s chandelier toward the back.

Our second fireplace in the back of the basement can be operated by remote control. The couple who owned the house worked in the fireplace industry. That's no excuse for the wood paneling.

I'll close with a picture of my two favorite things in the house. Downstairs off the utility room is a massive cedar closet. How big is it?

Birthday Dethday

I had a good 29th birthday. We spent the morning at the Shedd with Mike and Lauralye who were in town on a little vacation. For the first time ever the otters were sleeping and not playing. This saddened me.

Then I made my first bUICk practice of the season. Soccer had conflicted. I felt worn out but in good shape which caught me by surprise.

At night we went to Crossroads and met up with a bunch of people. Cass surprised me with cupcakes which were awesome. Sooz may have one upped her with T-Rex shaped rice krispie treats.

Thanks to everyone who came out. You are all great.

Two birthday presents worth noting:

From Mike:

From Cass:
More info on Twilight Turtle here for any parents out there or people who know awesome 29 year-olds.

I'm not sure which is my favorite present. I use both more often than you might think.

Beyond Lucky

This is the story of our Saturday.

Cass was woken up by a phone call and she immediately got me up. Charlie and Fielder were staying with her parents and we were going to pick them up after our home inspection. Cass's Dad was calling to tell us that Fielder had slipped her collar and taken off. They were unable to find her.

We raced to get dressed then raced to the car. I drove like a complete jerk driver or a polite Chicago cab to get to Plainfield as fast as possible. Cass called to get details and find out what we needed to do. It turns out Cass's parents had been calling since late last night. Fielder had run off at 10:30pm Friday night. It was now 8:30am Saturday.

We got there and of course went almost immediately to the paths and trails surrounding Cass's parents' house. There were no signs of her. Her tracks are usually pretty distinctive because of her short legs. In the tall snow it is almost like someone kicked a path for others to walk. There were no signs of her tracks going into the woods or across the various tiny lakes surrounding them. This was good because these woods are inhabited by coyotes.

As we were searching Cass's Mom was calling the local police and shelters to get a report out. At this point we realized that our best hope was that she was taken in by someone and that they would call. Cass and her Dad raced to get fliers made up and then raced back with them so we could post them everywhere.

I went east of their house and began tacking fliers up on stop signs and light poles. It was now about 10:00am and I was mentally preparing myself for the eventuality that we would not find her.

I stopped and dropped off fliers at the gas station, 7-eleven, and Nabby's on 59. While at Nabby's I received a phone call from the Animal Care Center of Plainfield. Someone had just brought in a dog that could be her. Cass had been there with a flier maybe 15 minutes earlier. Everyone remembered because of how hysterical she was.

I do not know Plainfield well enough to figure out where this person was calling from. Later I would realize I was all of two minutes away. She said that Cass was on the other line so I told her to switch over and talk to Cass. I raced back to her parents' home in case Cass was there so we could go together. Cass called me while turning into the drive to her parents' house, the same drive Fielder had disappeared on.

Cass's first sentence was "Cal, theycalaidajfkfffffffwwaaallllsifey!" I knew what she meant so I tried to calm her down and told her to get there safe first and call immediately to let me know if it was indeed Fielder. I had to repeat these instructions a couple times to make sure she understood exactly what was needed.

I got back to the house and told everyone and we waited. I hugged Charlie tightly while staring at my phone. Cass called a couple minutes later and I could make out "It's her!" through the heavy tears and joy.

Julia raced me over to the ACC. I sped inside and asked Pat (a family friend who had also been alerted) where she was: Exam Room #3. I knocked and swung open the door. Then I wrapped Cass and Fielder up in a big hug.

It turns out when Cass got there that the place was crowded with people (this was still true when I got there and I was lucky to pick Pat out quickly). Saturday is adoption day at this facility. Cass instinctively was able to pick out a large black man standing in the waiting room crowd as the person who saved Fielder. His name was Bernard.

Cass was crying a bit but managed to ask Bernard what color the dog was. He first said "White." Cass managed to control her panic and show Bernard a picture on her phone. He said that it was in fact Fielder. Cass began crying and hugged Bernard very tightly.

They were allowed into a waiting room (Exam Room #3) to wait. Cass was not allowed to see Fielder immediately as she was very cold and they were trying to warm her and check her for frostbite and hypothermia. Cass finally was allowed to look into the treatment area and see our little Fielder shivering under a heat lamp.

Cass waited in the waiting room and hugged Bernard who was kind enough to wait with her. Cass got part of the story at this time (we would find out more later). Bernard had pulled Fielder from the water. One of the lakes near the house had aeraters to partially melt the ice. Fielder was walking near the shoreline on this lake when the ice gave way and she fell in. Bernard saw this and ran out to save her. In this process he was knee deep in this water and Fielder nipped him on the hand.

Most of you know Fielder's abusive past and her general fear of people. I can only imagine the shock of being submerged in near frozen water and being grabbed by a large black man terrified her. We learned later though that once she was wrapped in a towel she calmed down completely.

Fielder was brought in to Cass who hugged her so tightly. Bernard filled out his info and left before I arrived. Everyone in the waiting room gave him a round of applause as he walked out of the building.

I arrived and we waited as they filled out paperwork. Cass's father came over from hanging up fliers. Her mom was calling everyone to let them know she was found and ok.

Cass and I finally drove her back to the house. Later we received a call from a man who saw our flier at the Jewel. Five people were out last night trying to catch her but she was able to scurry away. We thanked him for his effort and told him that she was found and well.

All told she spent nearly 12 hours outside in below freezing weather. She has no signs of frostbite or hypothermia. She is tougher than we ever gave her credit for. There is little doubt in my mind however that she would not have survived falling into the lake and that Bernard saved her life.

Cass and I stopped by his house later to thank him again and get the full story. We bought him a gift certificate to a restaurant and Cass wrote him a letter of thanks. We got the full story at this time. Bernard had just stepped out onto his patio for a smoke when he saw her come down and begin walking along the ice. He assumed it was a fisherman's dog (off of these series of lakes is the Plainfield Bass and Gill Club) because she had no tags. He may have just let her be if she had not fallen through the ice but once she did he raced down to get her. I don't know if he would've been able to catch her had she not fallen through.

We realize how fortunate we are that she was able to survive and that we were able to find her. We love her so much.

Mystery Team

Well it's not a lack of important news to report that has lead me to not post frequently as of late. Quite the opposite. I'll try to get caught up.

Last Thursday we went to the premiere of Mystery Team at the Music Box Theatre. Thanks to all who chose to join us. We had a great time.

The movie is funny. It's not innovative or dynamic. It's actually predictable in terms of plotting and the like but the jokes are good and the acting is good. I would recommend seeing the movie when it comes out on DVD May 11.

Three members of the team were there and they stuck around after to ask questions. The questions from the audience fell into one of two categories: people trying to be funny and failing or people asking informative questions but were boring as hell. The Derrick Comedy people were funny and cordial. They seemed like decent enough people and they were genuinely excited to be there.

"Sometimes I wish you hadn't beat that cancer. I really do."

Dat dere rasslin show

Top five wrestlers that still make me enjoy wrestling:
5. Evan Bourne
4. Edge
3. Chris Jericho
2. Rey Mysterio
1. CM Punk

The only reason Bret Hart isn't on here is because he's not wrestling. It is still mind boggling that I am seeing him on WWE TV again.

So far away.

Cass and I booked our honeymoon to the place we wanted at the resort we wanted. We will be spending a week in St. Lucia this July and we are so excited.

The island looks awesome and we finally found a flight to get us there in one day. For the longest everything we found had us staying a night in Miami or someplace equally not exciting. The only bummer is that we have to fly Delta and I sort of feel bad about that since Eugene Mirman.

Jungle zipline tours and snorkeling will happen. We found the resort we wanted at a good price for all inclusive and sprang for a room with an ocean view. That ocean is going to get the s**t viewed out of it.

Sick Day

Ooops I grabbed the wrong pic from the website.

I'm home sick today and not feeling so great. I did want to jump on here and post that YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

The only productive thing I did today is come up with new nicknames for my dogs: Charles in Charge and the Fresh Princess.

Football

The next time someone (American) tells me soccer is boring because nothing happens I am going to remember this. Holy cow. 11 minutes of actual gameplay in a 2 hour 54 minute broadcast? That is insane.

Current Addiction: Clash of Heroes

The current thing that occupies too much of my time according to Cass is Clash of Heroes for the DS. Her mom got me this game for Christmas and it is awesome. I'd rank it among my top five favorite games ever for the DS. So everyone if I know you and you own a DS buy this game so I can fight you on the DS instead of fighting you with my DS. A special note for some who may not know this I like to assault people with my DS.

Where would I rank it? Funny I should ask, me.

5. Professor Layton and the Curious Village
4. Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes
3. Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
2. Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
1. The World Ends With You

Too late?

When I was 16 I wanted a job. Not because of some innate ethic or boredom. I wanted money and like most Americans who don't live in coal mining towns real jobs are hard to come by when you're 12.

I got a job at American TV & Appliance in the warehouse. I was really excited about this job for a few reasons. Importantly it wasn't fast food or food service at all, something I wanted to avoid and to this day have never done. It also afforded a great opportunity as the reason I wanted a job in the first place would now be cheaper with an employee discount.

I wanted a TV for my room. More specifically I wanted a TV and VCR for my room. My parents would not buy one for me so I would have to obtain it on my own. Prior to turning 16 that would have meant saving up an entire summer's worth of lawnmowing money, which admittedly was a bit too much to ask at the time. This job meant affording these things after only about a month of work.

I bought these things right away, I believe with my second paycheck I received from American. I of course set them up immediately and got excited that night. The other nice thing was that American closed at 9pm so I would usually get home around 10. This was important.

The reason I wanted a TV in my room, not the only reason but the reason, was because I wanted to watch Conan while I went to sleep. I would often fall asleep with the show on and because I didn't want to miss it at all I recorded it every night with my VCR. I would watch what I missed the next morning while getting ready for school.

My senior year of high school I had current events. Our professor was pretty laid back and let the class pretty much be a free for all of ideas and conversation. My main contribution to this class was to bring in any political discussion/skit/anything from Conan and play it for the class. It wasn't something I did every day or even every week, but often enough that anyone who took that class with me probably remembers me for that specifically.

Years later I'm 25 and living in Chicago when Conan announces he is doing a week of shows at the Chicago Theater. I get excited until it's announced that the tickets will be free in a random drawing of entrants. I honestly had planned to buy tickets for every night. I entered my email and told everyone I knew to do the same. In the end I got one pair of tickets. Marty and I got to sit and watch in amazement as a man drove off Marina Towers, Dave Chappelle had a funny interview, Conan played the blues, Norm couldn't make a basket, and Common performed to close it out. It was a blast that I'll never forget.

Now I'm 28 and Conan gets his chance on The Tonight Show. I hadn't watched an actual episode of The Tonight Show since Johnny left. This was exciting for me. I DVR'd the first week of shows and watched them. Conan, true to his word, kept his unique style of humor in the move West.

Admittedly over the years his style had been honed a bit into something probably more suited to the palette of a wider audience. His early shows/years were filled with nonsensical humor and pacing that were so oddball it was wondered if he could find an audience soon enough to not be cancelled. His last years at Late Night were filled more regularly with poking fun at celebrities, but it still often had a bizarre slant or offbeat timing. Also there were still gems that would not be found on any other show, for example Conan visiting the baseball recreation society, a clip Conan himself has identified as probably the best thing he has ever done.

I have not been religiously following the Tonight Show. I probably caught a handful of episodes over the last seven months. I've probably caught part of the show once a month or so. My life has changed at this point where I really won't be around often or am busy even late at night. I don't DVR the show regularly because I would not be able to keep up and old episodes would sit unwatched until my memory was filled. All that being said I still think Conan is the finest talk show host on television.

This whole Leno/Conan business at NBC is troubling in part because the message seems to be that the network believes in Leno more greatly than they believe in Conan. They know their market and numbers so they would know best but honestly I can tell you that if someone asked me right now that I could either pay to watch Conan or watch Leno for free I would choose Conan every time.

Conan will be fine, at NBC or somewhere else. I know this and so does everyone else. As I sit and write about this I just miss the nights when I would drift asleep hoping for an appearance by Pimpbot 5000, when it seemed like the show was made just for me and that's all that mattered.

Needing this today

Five things that have made me happy today:

1. Fielder's pokey paws waking me up.
2. Cass's PJ pants
3. Strawberry/banana Kefir
4. News that Gas is ready to play

5.

I'm choking on my own rage here. (2009)

The above quote is in honer of the Simpsons 20th Anniversary.

GOOD

Movie: Where the Wild Things Are
A delightful movie that really hit where it was aiming: this is how it feels to be a kid. Out of control of you own emotions and trapped in your own world. Max creates a beautiful escape. The animatronic/CGI Wild Things looked amazing.
Runner-Up: Up
*special note: I didn't see a ton of movies I wanted to: Hurt Locker, Fantastic Mr. Fox, A Serious Man, The Informant, Inglorious Basterds, Big Fan, Up In the Air so this pick could easily change.

Television: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
This past/current season may be the best the show has ever done. Last season they almost seemed to go too big with things, closing with a musical finale that was well done but didn't feel in the spirit of the show. This season they returned to a more grounded focus (although they had some broad episodes like The Gang Wrestles for the Troops) on the five main characters. Frank got more insane; DeVito will do anything I think.
Runner-Up: Better Off Ted

Music: Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
Peppy dance beats, good singing, very very catchy.
Runner-Up: The Thermals - Now We Can See

Athlete: Albert Pujols
.334/.427.628. That's Pujols's career line. Those are his average numbers. If he plays ten more years at this rate he could hit 800 homeruns. Of course we'll see a decline at the end because people don't hit more homeruns after they turn 32 than before right?
Runner-Up: Prince Fielder (yay)

BAD

Movie: The Orphan
Silly plot, bad acting, boring pacing, and you know what terrible lighting too.
Runner-Up: Obsessed

TV: Jersey Shore
This is not one of those "They are so terrible it's interesting" things. They are not interesting at all. Stop giving bad people TV shows.
Runner-Up: The Jay Leno Show (I swear if this schedule redo goes through Conan should just walk.)

Music: The Boxmasters - Modbilly
See here.

Runner-Up: Chris Brown the human being

Athlete: Tiger Woods
Although I will admit that it amuses how everyone is saying how this mistake(s) is going to cost him so much money. He has a billion dollars. Even if his endorsements stop right now and she takes half he still has 500 million dollars. I want you to comprehend how many lifetimes you and I would have to work to make that much money.

Runner-Up: Donte Stallworth