Merry Religiously Nondenominational Holiday Time

Hope you all had a very wonderful holiday. I miss so many of you.

That video was awesome and opening night got me pumped for the season again, even if the Heat will win 60 games in a 60 game season. As a fan of both classic imagery in sports and anachronism it got to me. I want a huge poster of that last image.

Dive

The commercial above aired frequently during the MLB Playoffs and it really got to me.

Professionals. Do not attempt.

What could this possibly mean? Both parts of it have several explanations.

Professionals. Professional what? Professional people who grab lightning balls and jump out of planes at insane heights in order to hurl them into clouds? If this is the case, then awesome. And I am going to do everything in my power to attempt to do this.

Professional skydivers? Ok well that makes more sense at least. But I'm still not sure that a professional skydiver does what was depicted (jumping out of the back of a cargo plane) regularly.

Do not attempt. Which part of that do they not want me to attempt? The lightning ball freefall part? Because I just explained that is now the beginning and end of my bucket list.

Do not attempt to skydive? People do that all the time. Amateurs even. It's actually the lifeblood of the skydiving industry.

Do not attempt to skydive from extreme heights from the back of a cargo plane? I imagine if someone has the means to do that they are relying on other resources than a phone commercial for safety advice.

It's clear that Verizon believes we are stupidly insane or insanely stupid. I'm going to throw so much lightning at them.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!

Men walkin' 'long the railroad tracks
Goin' someplace there's no goin' back
Highway patrol choppers comin' up over the ridge
Hot soup on a campfire under the bridge
Shelter line stretchin' round the corner
Welcome to the new world order
Families sleepin' in their cars in the southwest
No home no job no peace no rest

The highway is alive tonight
But nobody's kiddin' nobody about where it goes
I'm sittin' down here in the campfire light
Searchin' for the ghost of Tom Joad

He pulls prayer book out of his sleeping bag
Preacher lights up a butt and takes a drag
Waitin' for when the last shall be first and the first shall be last
In a cardboard box 'neath the underpass
Got a one-way ticket to the promised land
You got a hole in your belly and gun in your hand
Sleeping on a pillow of solid rock
Bathin' in the city aqueduct

The highway is alive tonight
But where it's headed everybody knows
I'm sittin' down here in the campfire light
Waitin' on the ghost of Tom Joad

Now Tom said "Mom, wherever there's a cop beatin' a guy
Wherever a hungry newborn baby cries
Where there's a fight 'gainst the blood and hatred in the air
Look for me Mom I'll be there
Wherever there's somebody fightin' for a place to stand
Or decent job or a helpin' hand
Wherever somebody's strugglin' to be free
Look in their eyes Mom you'll see me."

The highway is alive tonight
But nobody's kiddin' nobody about where it goes
I'm sittin' downhere in the campfire light
With the ghost of old Tom Joad

Brewers!!!!!!!!!

Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

Lisa Edelstein and Rena Sofer

I can't be the only one who didn't realize that these were two different actresses. Here I had been thinking for years that Zack Morris picked up Bobbie Bernstein in a Hawaiian airport and nope that's not true.

Somewhat related I also thought for some time that Paula Marhsall and Carla Gugino were the same person. I picked up on my mistake faster but just now realized that Marshall is seven years older than Gugino.

The El Word

I've been thinking something over lately as I take my morning train ride to work, and to a less extent during the ride home as well. It's the idea of chivalry vs. feminism.

I get on the train early enough in the route that I have a seat on all except the rarest occasion when the train is irrationally late. There's a joke to be made here about the train always being late but seriously unless it's a half hour behind I'm just too close to the end to be on a full car.

So then it falls to me that when the train fills up at say Belmont or Logan Square that I have to decide if I'm going to stand up and offer my seat to someone.

Now I always do this in the case of an elderly or handicapped person without question. But many times I find myself sitting while a woman is forced to stand. There was a time when such an act would have me branded an uncouth ruffian and forcibly removed from the Hunting Lodge that very evening. There was also a time when people died of ptomaine poisoning and blamed it on ghosts.

I'm a staunch advocate for women's rights and gender equality. So by not giving up my seat I am treating a woman no different than I would a man. However I'm also a firm believer in just being a nice person so giving up my seat to a woman is just something polite I can do for a weary traveller on her morning commute.

Many times I'm too tired to make any rational decision or too focused on my reading to let the outside world interfere. Still I find myself more often than not just sitting and riding it out. Does that make me ungentlemanly? What's the consensus view on this?

Another quandary: does anyone else get worried that when they get off the train they spend the whole day smelling like the train?

Stone Cold Gunner

I don't have many other places to post this but I need to talk Arsenal.

So obviously I'm upset today. We lost to an inferior team in a game that we controlled throughout. It's frustrating to be sure but some fans are basically bagging the season already. This is insane to be sure and I'm certainly not ready to do that. They are also saying that Wenger should be sacked. This is profoundly insane.

Sacking Wenger means starting over from scratch as I'm positive that at least half the roster would leave. Many players come play at Arsenal just to play under Wenger and losing him means losing the core of the team as well as the youth. Sacking him is not an option. Restructuring his position could be. Wenger is known for two things: being a great manager and unwilling to spend an extra penny on what his determined value for players are. (Ok third thing: the "I didn't really see it" post-game interview.) If we want to change his decision making power in terms of personnel decisions that might be worth considering. But at the same time he is a tremendous judge of talent in general so he definitely still needs to be involved.

With regards to the season I think it's ridiculous to start making judgments. Many of our significant signings have been playing with the team for two weeks. To make an assessment of their abilities as a team now is rushing. That being said I thought that was a major mistake at the time. The signings should have been locked up much sooner to give the team time to adjust and understand each other prior to the season.

The Fabregas saga drug on too long though and Wenger wouldn't spend until that was over. (Nasri drug out too but that wasn't as distracting, although it was frustrating.) I wish it would have gotten done in the early summer to avoid this very problem but here it is. Related to that I am super pissed now that Gas is tearing things up for Barca that their president realizes that Wenger had him valued correctly and he was worth more than they paid. Thanks for saying that, wanker.

Regardless the main issue is how is this team going to be better than last year? We lost the middle of the field in Fabregas and Nasri?

I said when we sold Fabregas that we have to sign someone spectacular to replace him. That hasn't happened. Fabregas is an elite level player and Nasri is a good player who's shown signs of brilliance. Looking at who has come in there is Arteta, Benayoun and Chu-Young. All good players but no one of the elite talent of Fabregas. I said at the time that replacing an elite player with two or three good ones will not make this team better. My hope was that they spun the money directly and bought Wesley Sneijder. I still wish they had.

You can't count the defensive signings because those needed to be made anyway. Mertesacker is decent but can't be the anchor of the line. If Vermaelen were back there it would be different but he's made of glass and instead we have Koscielny, who is terrible. I'd be so much happier with Cahill but of course that meant spending an extra $4 million or so. Wenger didn't think he was worth that much. The difference though is that Cahill is much better than Mertesacker and to get that you have to pay for it. It's the market not the player sometimes.

Hazard would have been a nice addition but that fell apart. Supposedly he'll come in January and that might be a nice midseason upgrade. Still I maintain that Arteta, while good, is a player in a downswing of his career. Benayoun and Chu-Young are fine but really how much better than Arshavin or Ramsey are they? I'd take Sneijder and either of those two over any combination we can throw out right now. I realize that would mean spending more money. Great players are worth more money.

And how great would Van Persie play with Sneijder behind him?

Sorry for ranting. I needed to say some of that.

Colorado Trip Day 5,6,7: Centennial State Elastic Coils (Colorado Springs)

Colorado Trip Day 5: Happy Anniversary, I love you

Colorado Trip Day 4: I Believe I Can (Butter)Fly

Colorado Trip Day 3: I almost killed a clumsy coyote

Colorado Trip Day 2: That John Denver is full of...no actually it's pretty Rocky here.

Colorado Trip Day 1: Midnight Plane to Colorado

It made me smile and I don't know if I can explain it.

We went out and met up with some friends for Dave's birthday this past Friday. He chose Wrigleyville to try to get more of his friends to come out. I didn't really want to go to Wrigleyville and my concerns were somewhat validated when I had to dodge vomit three times on my from the car to the bar and that's not counting having to park more than a half mile from the bar. Admittedly that's not the worst case scenario for Wrigleyville at all.

Anyway we still wanted to go see Dave and other people regardless of of the fact that the atmosphere was noisy, hot and annoying and the clientele was just noisy and annoying. Still I enjoyed myself and could ignore most of that. Then I used the bathroom.

Posted on all the walls of the bathroom were pictures cut out from various issues of Maxim, Playboy and god knows what other magazines are out there giving me rankings of the top five places to take a date to ensure I'll get some. The women were scantily clad or unclad and mostly bleach blonde clones. I just rolled my eyes and focused on my task. Then my eyes drifted up and caught something that held my attention. In the midst of all these pinups and bikini bombshells was something unexpected: Maya Rudolph.

I don't really know why she was there but there she was, ripped from a page of something with an article she wrote. She was pregnant and dressed in a casual top and a spring skirt. And she looked gorgeous. Probably not to the kind of people who hung those other pictures but she looked absolutely beautiful.

I'd like to think that there was one employee at the place with good taste. If so, then kudos to you sir for making it public. I don't know why but it made me proud.

As far as omens go...

The other day I boarded the Blue Line on my way home. Not too odd, I do that many days unless I decide to take the Pink into downtown and transfer there. The day was ordinary, classes and labwork and not much else.

The platform had the normal amount of people on it. As the train pulled up I saw it had the normal number of people in the cars. The nice thing about working and living towards the edges of the Blue Line is that it's never full when it gets to me and I only have to stand when I transfer downtown in the afternoon.

I entered my car. I have the spacing worked out so I know which car will be close to the stairs when I get off. As I stepped in I saw all empty seats towards the front of this car so that's where I turned. I then caught nothing out of the corner of my eye.

Exactly that. Nothing. Rather nobody. The car was empty. Save for me and the feeling of unease this brought with it.

I've been on cars alone before, but that had always been really late/early after long nights or occasionally a strange time on a Sunday. This was a Tuesday afternoon at 4:15. I said cars are never full when they get to me but empty cars happen less than never. They are a myth.

My first instinct is something was wrong. There must be an offending odor or something disgusting somewhere on this car. I cautiously walked up and down looking for some explanation, my nose being notoriously desensitized. There was none to be found.

It lasted only a short while, although longer than a single stop. We passed Racine and got to UIC before other passengers boarded. The whole time I tried to figure out what it meant and why it was happening.

But it was just an empty car. An oddity, but nothing more.

Where does the time go?

I'll never get caught up. Screw it.

Favorite story from this past weekend:

Stripper: "Hey baby, you're cute. Want a dance?"

Oba: "I have to poop."

And the rage goes on (2010)

Time to wrap up the year again. This was the most important year of my life so far and it's hard to imagine it being topped. But what about pop culture?

GOOD

Movie: Inception
Cass and I just rewatched this and for all its flaws the movie is still incredible to watch. Good performances helped it out.
Runner-Up: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Like last year I didn't get around to seeing a lot of movies that down the line could easily become favorites (i.e. True Grit, The Social Network, others)

Television: Community
The evolution of this show has been incredible and I am in love with all of the cast members almost as much as I love all of the characters. I hope this show has many years so that we can see how the characters grow, which is the fundamental thing that happens in college.
Runner-Up: Louie

Music: Kanye West - My Dark Twisted Fantasy
For all of his flaws (and there are so so many) Kanye has never been one to release a boring album. This one is maybe his best yet although the hashtag stuff stands out a little too much.
Runner-Up: Motion City Soundtrack - My Dinosaur Life

Athlete: Landon Donovan
Landycakes gave us the greatest and most unforgettable sports moment of the year and of US Soccer history. It was amazing to see live and somehow still exhilarating now. Even though the tourney didn't finish out on a high note at all the moment remains.
Runner-Up: Georges St. Pierre

BAD

Movie: Hot Tub Time Machine
It takes an especially stupid script to mess up what is at its heart a mess of a movie. The funny parts were barely funny enough to make up for all of the stupid unresolved/unnecessary side plots and pointless scenes. The ending is one of the worst I've ever seen in a film.
Runner-Up: Date Night
Again I didn't see a lot of movies so I'm sure there were worse ones made.

TV: Lost
Thanks for validating my decision to never watch the show.
Runner-Up: MTV's Teenage Pregnancy Showcase

Music: OKGo - Of the Blue Colour of the Sky
Really underwhelming with ony one or two tracks worth adding to my playlist.

Runner-Up: Nick Hornby and Ben Folds - Lonely Avenue (need to listen to this a few more times but nothing stood out)

Athlete: Brett Favre
$50,000? If any of us did that we would be facing criminal charges. It's illegal to do that. Ugh.
Runner-Up: Ben Roethlisberger is a vile scumbag.