Merry Religiously Nondenominational Holiday Time

Hope you all had a very wonderful holiday. I miss so many of you.

That video was awesome and opening night got me pumped for the season again, even if the Heat will win 60 games in a 60 game season. As a fan of both classic imagery in sports and anachronism it got to me. I want a huge poster of that last image.

Dive

The commercial above aired frequently during the MLB Playoffs and it really got to me.

Professionals. Do not attempt.

What could this possibly mean? Both parts of it have several explanations.

Professionals. Professional what? Professional people who grab lightning balls and jump out of planes at insane heights in order to hurl them into clouds? If this is the case, then awesome. And I am going to do everything in my power to attempt to do this.

Professional skydivers? Ok well that makes more sense at least. But I'm still not sure that a professional skydiver does what was depicted (jumping out of the back of a cargo plane) regularly.

Do not attempt. Which part of that do they not want me to attempt? The lightning ball freefall part? Because I just explained that is now the beginning and end of my bucket list.

Do not attempt to skydive? People do that all the time. Amateurs even. It's actually the lifeblood of the skydiving industry.

Do not attempt to skydive from extreme heights from the back of a cargo plane? I imagine if someone has the means to do that they are relying on other resources than a phone commercial for safety advice.

It's clear that Verizon believes we are stupidly insane or insanely stupid. I'm going to throw so much lightning at them.