The next day began for me shortly before noon. I awoke and stumbled to the bathroom to shower myself awake. While giving myself a good once over and was in the middle of giving myself another over when I heard Zach stumble into the room. Zach had promised to stay up all night and he certainly lived up to his word. Although I wasn't completely certain, through the mists of the hotel shower it sounded as though Zach was having a disagreement with Marty over Marty's perceived need to sleep. It should be noted that prior to going to bed at around seven in the morning Marty had been up for a good 30 hours. Zach was undeterred and insisted that Marty was only tired to mess with him. Eventually Marty convinced him otherwise and Zach eventually went down to a different room presumably to have the same argument with a more interested party.
I went down to the lobby to join Tom, Newman, and Ross in their quest to find a place to eat and watch the Illini "game." The ESPNZone is located inside New York New York Casino, just across the way from our hotel. We decided to head over there to check if it was playing. It was not. The WWL deems you not worthy, Illini. Also, there was a line. We headed back to our hotel to take in the buffet for breakfast/lunch and catch the end of the game afterward.
Saying that the buffet at the Tropicana is unimpressive would be accurate. Saying it is the worst meal I ate in a weekend that included dinner at In and Out Burger would also be accurate. Saying I would rather eat the betting chips from the Tropicana Casino makes me wonder what betting chips taste like (plastic, probably). It isn't entirely accurate but that aside, the buffet at the Tropicana is terrible. We did recount our nights to each other at the table and it was there that I found out that Phil had haggled with a prostitute on the Las Vegas strip. It went something like this:
Hoochie: Hey baby, you have nice hair. (lying)
Phil: Thank you.
Hoochie: I'll make all your dreams come true for $300.
Phil: $300? I have $50.
Hoochie: I'm worth more than $50, honey (lying).
Phil: /laughs and walks away
Our meal at Satan's buffet line got over soon enough that the Illini "game" was not completed and so we hurried over to the MGM sportsbook to catch most of the second half. I went with despite my only marginal interest in the game itself. Let me just say that the Illini and Wolverines played as if only three members of each team knew that they were supposed to be playing basketball, and those players were on the bench. I entertained myself by alternately watching various other athletic events (hockey, soccer chief among them) and trying to fight off a headache induced by sitting in front of seventy televisions. Also, the jokes about being able to bet on anything in Vegas are true. I think I saw spreads on cricket matches.
After the Illini got done sucking slightly more than the Wolverines, Tom, Newman, Marty (up and about by 3pm, just before the over/under line), and Ross went to meet Tom's brothers for indoor skydiving. While intrigued by the concept, I did not have a desire to spend the money on it nor to wait in line for the opportunity to lay on a fan. I took the opportunity for the afternoon lull to go catch a nap in the hotel room.
I awoke when they returned from their medium-flying adventure. It sounded amusing, particularly the part about Tom's brother Mark being too large to partake. He said he would try the following day anyway. Those of us who were hungry ventured to the other end of the strip to take advantage of a nice price on steak at Bill's Casino. If you have never heard of Bill's Casino, congratulations, you are not a compulsive gambler. It is a dive. But they had steak for $17 so we were there. The steaks were surprisingly decent, including Marty's steak on bread aka the steak sandwich. It was literally steak on bread.
After dinner, some of the boys who had never seen Vegas before wanted to tour the big casino's to take in the views. Honestly, casino floors all look the same, but if you are in Vegas you might as well check out some of the cooler casinos anyway. We took in Caesar's which end to end measures half the state of Nevada. Afterwards we gambled a bit at Bill's, which was a ripoff since I lost quickly and they bring you glasses of beer (about 8 oz.) instead of a bottle. Unsatisfied as one could be without being my girlfriend, we headed back to familiar grounds.
Marty and I had been itching to get to the poker tables for some time. I remembered the last time in Vegas the poker tables were the only place I made money. It is a bit more satisfying not losing all your money to the house regardless of luck so I recommend this game. We went to the Tropicana to find seats available on $1/$2 no limit tables. This was ideal for the cheap gambler ready to pounce on the meager pots. We saddled up to the table just shy of midnight, ready to mow down some yokels and tourists, Marty playing Butch Cassidy and yours truly playing Sundance.
A quick treatment of the poker players in Vegas: there are a lot of stupid people playing poker in Vegas. Everyone watches the World Series of Boredom on TV and reads a book then heads to the tables with their system. They practice their poker face and learn the odds of everything. The problems with this are myriad. First, you are at the $1/$2 no limit table in the Tropicana. You aren't fooling anyone into thinking you are a gamer. Second, it is pointless to bet according to a system when the dollar values don't mean anything. Three times the big blind is only $6, the numerical value is more important. When I bet against your $6 with $15, I'm not betting 7.5 times the big blind, I'm betting $15. Thanks for folding, by the way. Last, everyone there is pretty easy to read when they bet according to systems or check bet into everything and slow play all their hands (p.s. it just means you don't have a hand killer enough to steal the pot).
If you couldn't tell we did pretty well at the table. It took me a while to make sure I realized exactly how easy the table was which cost me a few pots early on. Eventually I found a groove and started betting people out of pots. I was up $80 before playing one or two stupid hands cost me and finished the night down only $11. I deferred at least one $40 pot to Marty (which I would have won). Marty finished out up $82, having taken most of his winnings from two suckers, one of whom kept coming back for more. It was a good night for him since he had spent most of his vacation to that point losing but being wasted, which he can blame for playing one very stupid hand that cost him $125. We were the only ones at the table drinking and I had at least seven beers.
We turned in around 6:30 in the morning. The best story actually comes from the table next to us. Around 3am a guy from the adjacent table (only two going at this hour) left (presumably only for a break) while up $500. He disappeared for two hours. Everyone wondered where he went during this time until he showed up two hours later to retrieve his coat. He claimed he forgot that he had $500 at the table and was up $3700 in blackjack. At first I didn't believe it but eventually it became apparent that he was a player. He sat down with the intention of losing his money and getting back to blackjack, including by offering anyone to go head to head with him for $500 on a coin toss (no takers). Everyone at the table started salivating and lost focus on anything other than this guys stack that he apparently intended to disperse to the crowd. Rufus, the only other decent player at our table, was aching to move tables but couldn't because theirs was full and ours was short. Eventually, this man went all in against two people after the flop for a pot of nigh $1200. Both other gentlemen had top pair and a flush draw but Playboy McPlaysalot had trips, and then flops the fourth on the river. The other two gentlemen were beside themselves after getting over their shock. Let that be a lesson, don't try to play a player and when someone is on a hot streak get out of the way.
After Marty and I returned to our room to find Zach very much in the middle of a coma (in retrospect we should have checked if he was alive) we settled in for bed. Marty set his alarm to go watch Mark skydive and we turned in on another good night in Sin City.
I awoke when they returned from their medium-flying adventure. It sounded amusing, particularly the part about Tom's brother Mark being too large to partake. He said he would try the following day anyway. Those of us who were hungry ventured to the other end of the strip to take advantage of a nice price on steak at Bill's Casino. If you have never heard of Bill's Casino, congratulations, you are not a compulsive gambler. It is a dive. But they had steak for $17 so we were there. The steaks were surprisingly decent, including Marty's steak on bread aka the steak sandwich. It was literally steak on bread.
After dinner, some of the boys who had never seen Vegas before wanted to tour the big casino's to take in the views. Honestly, casino floors all look the same, but if you are in Vegas you might as well check out some of the cooler casinos anyway. We took in Caesar's which end to end measures half the state of Nevada. Afterwards we gambled a bit at Bill's, which was a ripoff since I lost quickly and they bring you glasses of beer (about 8 oz.) instead of a bottle. Unsatisfied as one could be without being my girlfriend, we headed back to familiar grounds.
Marty and I had been itching to get to the poker tables for some time. I remembered the last time in Vegas the poker tables were the only place I made money. It is a bit more satisfying not losing all your money to the house regardless of luck so I recommend this game. We went to the Tropicana to find seats available on $1/$2 no limit tables. This was ideal for the cheap gambler ready to pounce on the meager pots. We saddled up to the table just shy of midnight, ready to mow down some yokels and tourists, Marty playing Butch Cassidy and yours truly playing Sundance.
A quick treatment of the poker players in Vegas: there are a lot of stupid people playing poker in Vegas. Everyone watches the World Series of Boredom on TV and reads a book then heads to the tables with their system. They practice their poker face and learn the odds of everything. The problems with this are myriad. First, you are at the $1/$2 no limit table in the Tropicana. You aren't fooling anyone into thinking you are a gamer. Second, it is pointless to bet according to a system when the dollar values don't mean anything. Three times the big blind is only $6, the numerical value is more important. When I bet against your $6 with $15, I'm not betting 7.5 times the big blind, I'm betting $15. Thanks for folding, by the way. Last, everyone there is pretty easy to read when they bet according to systems or check bet into everything and slow play all their hands (p.s. it just means you don't have a hand killer enough to steal the pot).
If you couldn't tell we did pretty well at the table. It took me a while to make sure I realized exactly how easy the table was which cost me a few pots early on. Eventually I found a groove and started betting people out of pots. I was up $80 before playing one or two stupid hands cost me and finished the night down only $11. I deferred at least one $40 pot to Marty (which I would have won). Marty finished out up $82, having taken most of his winnings from two suckers, one of whom kept coming back for more. It was a good night for him since he had spent most of his vacation to that point losing but being wasted, which he can blame for playing one very stupid hand that cost him $125. We were the only ones at the table drinking and I had at least seven beers.
We turned in around 6:30 in the morning. The best story actually comes from the table next to us. Around 3am a guy from the adjacent table (only two going at this hour) left (presumably only for a break) while up $500. He disappeared for two hours. Everyone wondered where he went during this time until he showed up two hours later to retrieve his coat. He claimed he forgot that he had $500 at the table and was up $3700 in blackjack. At first I didn't believe it but eventually it became apparent that he was a player. He sat down with the intention of losing his money and getting back to blackjack, including by offering anyone to go head to head with him for $500 on a coin toss (no takers). Everyone at the table started salivating and lost focus on anything other than this guys stack that he apparently intended to disperse to the crowd. Rufus, the only other decent player at our table, was aching to move tables but couldn't because theirs was full and ours was short. Eventually, this man went all in against two people after the flop for a pot of nigh $1200. Both other gentlemen had top pair and a flush draw but Playboy McPlaysalot had trips, and then flops the fourth on the river. The other two gentlemen were beside themselves after getting over their shock. Let that be a lesson, don't try to play a player and when someone is on a hot streak get out of the way.
After Marty and I returned to our room to find Zach very much in the middle of a coma (in retrospect we should have checked if he was alive) we settled in for bed. Marty set his alarm to go watch Mark skydive and we turned in on another good night in Sin City.
1 comment:
I am loving the Vegas series of stories. . .keep it up!
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