Our resort.
My review is still pending. Let's see if it gets accepted. Here's the review :
I thought I should share my experiences at the Sunset Jamaica Grande since I can provide a somewhat unique perspective. I am one of the cats who lives here, you see, and I doubt many travelers get the chance to hear from us, since most of you are grungy and sketchy looking we tend to scurry when you come near.
I've been living on the grounds of this hotel for several months now. I venture into the island on occasion, usually out of necessity, very rarely to sight see. The town is covered in litter and while this provides ample hiding places it is not very picturesque. Many attractions are too touristy much of the time for my tastes, resulting primarily from the cruise ships that dock in the bay. I mention the ships to say that it would seem beneficial for guests of the resort to know when the cruise ships will be docking so that they may schedule some island trips for when things are less crowded. If Sunset Jamaica Grande provides such a schedule it has never been placed where I could see it.
On to the resort itself, the grounds truly are beautiful and that is part of the reason I stay. The south beach stretches far and a smaller cove to the north provides a secluded spot for activities or relaxation. The grounds during the day and night provide many alcoves and nooks for me to explore, and guests to find some privacy I suppose. It is amazing that a hotel of this size does afford some privacy but the careful layout does just that.
Ah, the size of the hotel. It is rather large, the largest in Ocho Rios to be sure. As such it accommodates a rather wide cross-section of people, much like a mid-level hotel. Don't expect an isolated, upper-class atmosphere here as everything from retirees, spring-breakers (whatever on earth that is), and families with sticky faced children who try to pet me come to stay. Honestly, parents, I am at best an island cat. I could be diseased, although I am fortunately quite healthy thank you. Regardless, show some concern and keep your kids' hands away from me.
Most of you white women have too many tattoos and are quite unattractive up close. Use some sunscreen, your skin is gross. And learn some restraint. It's noon, you should not be "five drinks deep." Ack. Sorry, that is my way of indicating I coughed up a hairball in disgust.
The rooms at the resort are also much like a mid-range hotel. It's decent accommodation with good balconies and views but not many amenities. I don't venture much into the cabana suites but several of those face into the back of utility buildings. I imagine that could be very aggravating for a guest who paid the extra fees. Also it's much easier for cats to get into these cabanas. Several of my friends highly recommend it.
Much like many of the human guests I have difficulty getting into the restaurants for dinner. I eat at the buffet most often and the food there is decent. Better than kibble at the very least. The system they have for dinner reservations for the guests is, even to my simple mind, moronic. Guests line up to be there at 830am to book reservations for the next night. And the line system is chaotic. Most guests could stand to be more civil, but the resort itself is responsible for the poor system. It seems like things book up far too quickly. Many times I suggest you follow my lead and simply try to walk in without reservations. The food in the Italian restaurant is quite good.
The staff is very friendly for the most part. They don't hesitate to provide the occasional bite of food when droppings become rare. Me and my friends do keep to ourselves mostly though, and are not like the riff raff you may find in other places. We consider ourselves a bit more proper. We would never jump up on the tables to steal food, even if left behind by an inconsiderate guest who desperately needs to get to the beach. The kitchen staff greatly prefers if I stay out of the kitchen areas. I'd imagine this goes for human guests as well.
For those interested I have in fact visited other hotels. Quite a few actually. I am originally from the southern end of the island and have made my way along the coast, stopping at the many resorts along the way for brief stays until my wanderlust awoke and pushed my furry legs to venture forward. Many times it is due to the bands at the resorts becoming unbearable. One can only hear so many Bob Marley covers. Play some Desmond Dekker you fools. Oh, but I digress. The point being I have seen many island resorts in my time and in truth plan on venturing onward quite soon from this location. I hope the next home I find is someplace a little less busy. I could use a change of pace and long for some more quiet evenings where the only sound is the soft purr of the ocean waves.
Irie mon,
Jameowca
UPDATE: My review got accepted somehow. As of 11:18AM CST one person has found it helpful.
http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g147312-d567171-r127102829-Sunset_Jamaica_Grande_Resort-Ocho_Rios_Jamaica.html#CHECK_RATES_CONT
UPDATE: They took the review down. Last I saw it had 17 people who found it helpful. They didn't send any email or anything, they just removed it. Which is too bad because when I wrote it I was looking forward to an email that said "We don't believe you are actually a cat."
No comments:
Post a Comment