Losing by losing. (Long post, feeling introspective, sorry)

This weekend went off better/worse than expected. That last statement was intended to require explanation and set up this post. Cue expository paragraph.

So going into this weekend my fears were that the frisbee team would implode and I would have to wade through all the conflict and laziness to salvage a decent frisbee weekend for myself. This was actually the least of my worries. Some problems existed but they hid themselves below the surface and I never felt like I was babysitting. This is a minor triumph for me at this point. This shall hereto be referred to as better.

This did not translate to production on the field. We went 0-6 on the weekend. I know we were the 8th seed of 8 teams and that we therefore played to seed, but that doesn't change the fact that we lost games that I know we not only could have won, but should have won. In two games we were up by a score of 12-8 only to end up losing 13-15 and then 12-15. Losing, I dub thee worse.

I can't help but feel responsible for this. I took the weight of this team on my shoulders when I decided to be the captain this fall. I feel that a better captain could've rallied his troops in the face of a surging enemy and fought back the charge when it came. Instead, we fell and I feel that my legacy and stature are much like that of Napolean. I didn't play as well as I could've, but that's actually not my point. I didn't make anyone else play better because of this, and that is how I have failed.

I couldn't help but reflect a bit on how this all made me feel while laying around being sore/doing nothing when I got back yesterday afternoon. I started thinking about my entire competitive career and I came to this realization: in every aspect of competition in which I have challenged others I have a losing record with only one exception. Limiting my discussion to athletic competition and starting chronologically:

Little League Baseball - a significantly low win percentage. This is highlighted by the fact that in my first year and last year of competitive play my team failed to record a single win.

High School Football - three wins over the course of two years of play (3-13). Even if I had continued to play all through high school my record would be approximately the same as the team did not improve dramatically, or at all actually, when I left. At least I can say it wasn't my fault.

Church Softball - a losing record despite the fact that this is probably the best I have ever played. I was deep in the order and played right center. There was little to no pressure on me and I thrived on it, hitting line shot singles up the gut or grounders directly down the lines for singles galore. We still managed a losing record for three consecutive years and then folded when a crisis in the church came about (don't ask).

City-League Softball - Wicked Awesome's chronicals are detailed more clearly in Taylor Street, but in summary, we won two games and I was absent for one.

Ultimate - this needs subsections

College Ultimate - the team I played on had been very good making nationals my freshman year. I did not play until my junior year and then I was injured. So I really only have two significant years of undergrad playing. These two years, we were definitely above .500 (officially I can really only remember my final year record of 17-10). Grad school record might be slightly above .500 were it not for this fall season.

City-League Ultimate - I can just logon to the Ultimate Chicago site and see that I am 30-32 in my career.

The one exception?

Youth League Soccer - third through fifth grade my team (The Sounders) were pretty good, finishing first for one year and second the other two. I then gave up soccer.

Does any of this matter? Is the value of a player defined by his team's record? I don't really think so but at the same time it's been sixteen years since I've been on a team that won a championship.

An additional note: I went to the last Don't Forget The Nuggets show ever on Saturday night and had a blast. These guys have a stage show is unbeatable and the music is catchy. Go to their myspace site and listen for yourselves.

Suicide as a lifestyle

I have been destroying my body lately.

I had frisbee practice on Wednesday and I went and played soccer with Oliver and Co. (teehee) All told it was about four hours of solid running. On top of that, I have been lazy in going shopping so I have been eating whatever food I have left, which isn't always the healthiest option.

I've also been severly stressed as of late. My thesis is always stressful but with the deadline approaching of course all readouts are nearing caution. It has also fallen upon my elegant shoulders to take charge of the frisbee team for fall, this of course bearing with it the resposibility to deal with personality conflicts, laziness, and apathy from undergrads. It will get better. Sectionals is this weekend and after that should be much more laid back.

Some goodness is happening. I-Bar continues to be a source of stability. Colin is suprisingly more entertaining with a girlfriend who isn't around, but with spies everywhere. Martin and Megan are actually okay and in London, not in fact locked in a Gulag somewhere. Megan gave me a shoutout in their blog surely doubling my readership to four. I got to see Lily eat bark this past week as well which is always a treasure.

I'm gonna go buy milk, eat a light dinner, and then pass out, not necessarily in that order. But probably in that order.

Horse Sense

I had an interview today to become an analyst at the Horse Racing Lab. I won't say how I thought it went because my perspective on these things is somewhat skewed.

I did want to take the time and just lay out my philosophy regarding interviews. I try to be as open as I can while maintaining some sense of professionalism. This refers to everything I do. Dress, talk, dance, etc. My thought is that I am a commodity and they should want to hire me. I shouldn't have to pretend to be someone else in order to get the job. Me will show up if they do hire me anyway, so why fake it in the interview?

That isn't to say that I am judgemental of those who play themselves up in interviews, or even resumes. It makes sense that you want to work and that you want to present the best characteristics, even if they aren't your own. It's just not for me.

Also ran a mile this morning. I need two things: a stopwatch and a bathroom scale. To steal a joke from Louis CK, I want to go buy these in a weird combination to freak out the people at Target. "Hi, I need a stopwatch, a bathroom scale, a bicycle pump, and some shampoo."

What's the opposite of "emptier?" It's "filler." Not really, but that's kind of what this post will be.

Frisbee practice got lighteninged out today, leaving me with a little bit more free time and extra calories to burn. And also very few interesting stories.

A few random thoughts:
-I need to find a way to work "hoi polloi" into a post because it is fun to say.
-The Packers are not a very good football team.
-How I Met Your Mother is a fun show, but isn't really multi-layered.
-I need new cleats. I need to figure out how much I can spend on cleats.

I finished Marvel 1602 by Neil Gaiman. I enjoyed it but I can't help but wonder why so much of what is written now is reimagining existing characters. Would this story be as compelling if the characters were original? Maybe not. Why is there a lack of strong new characters in the major comic universes? Is there really or am I just not paying attention? These are questions that don't need answers but I suspect that my brother is the one who will answer them for me.

Family Movies

Don't know why this is on my mind, but it is, so nyah. Here are the top five movies of my family. This isn't a list of our individual favorites. It's a list of five movies that we watched together that we all enjoyed and anytime one is on, we'll call eveyone into the room or think about everyone who isn't with us at the time.

1) Stalag 17
Wonderful performances, highlighted by William Holden's Oscar winning performance. While I saw The Great Escape first, this movie really explained to me why POW's do the things they do.

2) Harvey
For anyone out there who doesn't understand why Jimmy Stewart is so beloved by my parent's generation, this movie explains it better than any words I type could. I'll end my argument with my favorite quote from this, or possibly any movie:
"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."

3) The Gods Must Be Crazy
Why is this movie funny? I have no idea. I don't know how to explain the humor of this movie. It's hard to convey, but it crosses demographics since all members of my family laugh when this movie is on. Anytime I see an empty bottle on the street I think of hurling it off the end of the world.

4) The Magnificent Seven
Maybe my mother hates this movie. She might purposely be in the kitchen whenever it's on. Too bad the rest of us love it enough to make up for her even if she does hate it. Steve McQueen's nonsequitors throughout the movie are a special treat for us.

5) Fantasia
I have no idea why I distinctly remember being excited to go see this movie with my brother and my father. I don't know why my mother remembers so many parts of this movie. I don't really know. It snuck on this list, and seems appropriate.

Here Goes Something?

I decided to do this because Luke is a lazy shit and never updates the website. Plus, I have a lot of ideas that randomly pop up that seem like decent things to write about but not good enough for articles. Plus, everyone else has a blog or three and you don't question their motivations. Stop judging me.