The Dog in Winter

Now that it's snowing outside it is really time to address a matter of concern. For whatever reason as soon as it gets cold outside a greater number of people decide that it is acceptable to not pick up their dog poop and leave it on the sidewalk. I would like to stress two things:

1) It is not acceptable.
2) These people suck.

Owning a dog means accepting responsibilities. The owner has responsibilities to the dog of course to care for it and ensure that it does not die. However equally important are the responsibilities that the dog owner has to everyone else in society. There are only two of these:
1) Ensure that your dog does not harm others.
2) Clean up after it.

This is the social contract we have created for dog owners. It is the only two things you have to do in order to be allowed to own a dog and keep it in the city. These two simple things are requirements and failure to complete these means you are abandoning the privilege of owning an animal and are not a decent human being.

You will see it more and more as the winter sets in. I am not sure why the cold weather triggers this in some people. There are others that don't clean up after their dogs year round. They are still prigs but at least they're consistent.

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We need someone to dogsit for us next Friday (Dec. 18). If you are available to come over to our apartment and make sure they don't bark while you rifle through our things then please let us know. There may be something in it for you.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

I was bruised and battered and I couldn't tell
What I felt
I was unrecognizable to myself
I saw my reflection in a window I didn't know
My own face
Oh brother are you gonna leave me
Wastin´away
On the streets of Philadelphia

I walked the avenue till my legs felt like stone
I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone
At night I could hear the blood in my veins
Black and whispering as the rain
On the streets of Philadelphia

Ain't no angel gonna greet me
Its just you and I my friend
My clothes don't fit me no more
I walked a thousand miles
Just to slip the skin

The night has fallen, I'm lyin' awake
I can feel myself fading away
So receive me brother with your faithless kiss
Or will we leave each other alone like this
On the streets of Philadelphia

Packers win. I'm thankful for all of you.

Is it worse to be racist at night?

Here's all the other stuff to get caught up.

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My car is finally done. It didn't actually die but the brake lines did go out and the estimate to fix it was over $300. We decided it wasn't worth it because this might be the start of a snowball and we'd rather spend money on a new car.

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"She was a good boat but I'm a lousy captain."

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We played softball for the first time in months last Thursday subbing for Woody's team. I had a great night in the field making the last catch running backwards to catch up to a home run ball with runners on and our team only up by two. I also got a d-bag on the other team to lose it by squaring up to bunt after he lead off with two balls no where near the plate. I can't believe some people take that seriously. This guy was pitching to the 12 foot ceiling with backspin so I in no way feel obligated to be polite to him. None of this matters anyway because Cass is the real superstar. She crushed a home run to dead center over the fielder's heads.

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"That's my girlfriend."

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Fielder is doing great. Everyone loves her the second they meet her. She is getting courageous, approaching dogs bigger than most humans without a second of hesitation. She still has her moments of fear but that won't stop her from say leaping off of our kitchen counter when someone who's name starts with Cass is trying to wash her feet.

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"Being cute doesn't mean there are no rules it just means there are less rules."

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The Fire lost in the Eastern Conference Final. Again. It was a great year and as I said I think the team that started the season was completely different. That team would have won that game I think. We had a great time this year and are very proud of the team. The best game was still the one that we ended up being the one we had extra tickets for, and therefore tons of friends in the stands. We probably will not do season tickets again as we have to start tightening the belt.

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"That is a card on any field in the world. Except this one."

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It's Always Sunny is still the best show on TV.

Hall of Winona...wait that's not right.

So Cass and I decided before leaving for Milwaukee that we would bring our ultimate gear with us and see how we felt on Sunday morning. If we were awake and ready we would make the trip. We were awake and DTB.

We rolled in around 9:30. We had left Milwaukee at 6:00 so we made pretty good time getting there. We got our cleats on grabbed our bags and walked towards our field. The team mostly had their backs to us but when we were within a field someone on the sideline spotted us and the whole team turned, spotted us, and cheered. It was the kind of welcome that I needed and that Cass deserves.

We showed up to find our team losing in a testy game against some Gnarwhal players. Our arrival awakened the beast spirits within each of our teammates souls and we rallied for a two point victory. The next game was against some school in Nebraska which featured a player who my best guess would put at 6'8". Featured in this case would mean he touched the disc on every other throw and we really couldn't do anything to contain him. We ended up losing by two. Our final game was against UW-LaCrosse, a fun group of players we had met and played two years prior. It was a fiery, emotional game for myself (knowing it would be our last of the day/tournament) and we managed to dig deep and pull out a two point victory. Haha pull out.

That previous paragraph doesn't matter. The results of the games didn't decide the weekend for us. Cass and I had a great time and got the emotional boost we needed from the weekend. We didn't regret waking up and making the trip for one second.

The only downside was that I didn't get a chance to see Nate. He was playing open at the main fields and by the time I rolled past I wasn't able to find him (if he was still there).

My eleventh Hallowinona was still awesome and they seem to get better every year. We didn't win this year but I felt more fulfilled at the end of the day on Sunday than I had the previous year. A big thank you to all my teammates.

And Cass made brownies.

Here's my dog sleeping on her back.

It's just a really cute picture.

So this past weekend was Halloween. For the past ten years for me that has meant the Hallowinona ultimate tournament in Winona, MN. That's right. My ultimate career is in the double digits at this point. I've been doing this longer than I've been having sex. Keep in mind that most guys wouldn't be able to last for ten years.

On Tuesday night last week (four days before the tournament) I got a call from my friend David. His father had passed away. I have known David since we were in first grade together and I've known his family for at least that long.

His dad was a genuinely funny guy. He was the kind of person who let you know where you stood and you could tell what mood he was in from across the room. He'll be missed by so many and I hope David and his family are able to remember the joy of his life.

The funeral was on Saturday in Milwaukee. Cass and I decided immediately we would be going. It was good to see so many friends I hadn't seen in forever, and the parlor was packed with people who came to remember Jerry.

A quick story that I probably should have told at the funeral: my dad always got along with Jerry. They would be sure to be chatting and laughing any time they were together. I remember the first time my dad and Jerry met. We drove over to David's house to pick him up for a Brewer game and to stay the night on a weekend. My dad asked Jerry "What time should I bring him home?" Jerry answered "When he's 18 and has a job."

It was great to be there for my friend. Cass and I stayed in Milwaukee on Saturday night and we missed out on Hallowinona this year. Or did we?

Folks

Getting caught up:

Our parents weekend in Door County went smoothly. Much more smoothly than we hoped even. Not that we expected fisticuffs although that may have been entertaining.

We played golf and I played just well enough to give the appearance of competence when necessary. We saw a play, played games, ate a chipper and goulash, and had fun. Both our folks are generally good people and they got along well.

Cass did great and there was actually more baby talk than wedding talk. That was a curveball. Oh, and here's proof that Cass is more beloved than anyone else:

Die with our boots on.

The US Men's National Team clinched a World Cup berth this past weekend with a 3-2 win in Honduras. I, like most Americans, was not able to watch the game due to some asinine broadcasting rules/decisions. Regardless this is great news for a US team on the rise.

The US team turned heads this year by beating Spain in the Confederations Cup Semifinals. This marked the most important victory by the US team in many years. They did it with solid defense and quality shots from their scorers when they needed it.

Unfortunately it didn't mark the turnaround for the team from mediocre to world elite. They still have problems almost every game putting together a sustained attack and stopping world class offense. They look lost at times and really caught a few lucky breaks along the way to South Africa.

All that being said I am very happy and proud of this team. They have a lot of work and really need to settle in on doing their jobs every time in order to advance out of pool play. I believe in them and will be rooting the whole way.

The USMNT have come a long way. It used to be that no matter what we did we wouldn't be able to hang with the world's best. Now if we play our best game we can beat teams that aren't. There are still teams we could never beat on their best day, but forcing everyone else to bring their "A" game is a step in the right direction.

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The Chicago Fire are close to wrapping up their season as well. Cass and I had a blast as season ticket holders this year and are considering our options for next year. There are a few things we'd do different like not sit in the supporters section and skip the Beckham game (if he comes back) but overall we enjoyed getting to go to as many games as we did.

The team is in trouble for the playoffs though. They are very thin on the back line due to injuries to some critical members, primarily Tim Ward who is the new favorite player of Cass and I due to his quality hustle and overall play this past year, as well as the loss of Bakary Soumare to France due to him not wanting to be here. Up front our attack has looked weak as well since the loss of Thorrington and Blanco is playing hurt. Getting McBride back is a big boost but hopefully we can get a few of these guys back in form for the postseason run. Otherwise it could be an early exit.

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Arsenal is sitting at fifth in the standings but they have played one fewer game than everyone ahead of them. Most impressively they have scored more goals than any one else in the league. The closest team is Liverpool who is two goals behind with an extra game played.

Arsenal is scoring 3.4 goals per game right now and don't look to be slowing down. They aren't scared to just pour everything at teams and have found the back of the net like no other. Their defensive line is weak but unless teams have goal scorers they aren't going to be able to compete. It's fine to concede two goals if you go out and score six.

Between Fabregas, Vermaelen, Van P, Arshavin teams will have trouble finding stoppers for all of Arsenal's weapons, and that's to say nothing of when the team is healthy and they have Walcott, Bendtner, Gallas, and Rosicky too.

The one thing that sucks is the team's only real enforcer is Nasri and he's been hurt. Regardless if you have spots behind the net at an Arsenal game this year be ready to stand up and cheer.

The more things change...

the worse they get.

A little backstory: those of you who went to UIC probably recognize the image. Busy Burger was a cheap burger joint on Taylor Street. It actually still is but we'll get to that. Everything in there was done on the cheap. The prices were low, the soda was unrecognizable (I don't mean that as a shot at say Mello Yello, I mean I literally have no idea what brand of soda they were serving), it was a little dirty, and they didn't even take credit cards. But most importantly the burgers were awesome. They were thick, juicy and cheap. It may have been all the grease still on the fryer adding flavor but those were delicious burgers.

Rewind to earlier this summer. At some point driving down Taylor Street I looked over and noticed that Busy Burger had done some remodeling. Some serious remodeling. It didn't look like a relic from an era that never really existed, it looked like a college burger shack. "Oh well" I shrugged.

Back to this past weekend. Cass and I had meant to grill burgers to stay in with Fielder but it was raining pretty hard. Since we were both in the mood for a burger and I hadn't had it in a while I suggested we call Busy Burger. I checked online and saw that they delivered. I don't know that they did this before but I know they didn't have their menu online before and I realized that their prices had increased. "Just more updating" I guessed.

We placed our order and it came and I was immediately disappointed. I mean immediately because when I went down to get the order at the door I reached in and grabbed a fry. Instead of the crispy fries I was used to I found soggy skinny mockeries. I was irritated but I wasn't going to let it spoil my night. "No biggie" I accepted.

We toasted the fries in the toaster to crisp them up a bit. As we were waiting we got our meals ready and I noticed that the burgers looked a lot more thin than they used to be. Now instead of a thick juicy patty there were thin ones. I was worried by this point but I held off judgment until I took a bite. "Things have gone horribly wrong" I realized.

The burgers now are thin, charred on the outside and dry on the inside. It is a cheap piece of meat. It was always a cheap piece of meat but it used to be delicious and now it is not, and it cost less before.

We didn't let it ruin our night and to be honest at the time I wasn't all that upset but we just got a new dog and were riding an emotional high at the time. Those burgers were a real buzzkill.

I don't know if they changed owners or what but everything is different now, and not for the better. We won't be going back. We can't go back.

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An update on Fielder: I pet her for the first time yesterday. She is bonding really well with Cass and seems more spooked by men so we think the mill was run mostly by men. She is still nervous but is calming down to an outrageous degree. The first night she slipped down between the couch and the wall and I had to pick her up out of there. She was so freaked she ran and jumped off of the opposite edge of the couch and landed in the Charlie's water bowl (about a four foot gap). Earlier today Cass was driving her to the vet. Fielder was in the passenger seat. A cop car pulled up next to her at a red light and the cops pointed and were making cute faces. Fielder then decided to try to jump through the windshield (or up on the dash, it doesn't really matter), which she smacked into and fell directly to the floor of the car.

When I got home from working out she was curled up on Cass's lap (today is the first time she has done this). Apparently she had been sleeping on the chair nearby, wrapped up in one of my sweatshirts. Then she looked and seemingly asked to be picked up so Cass did so and Fielder fell asleep immediately. I came in and she woke up but was still very relaxed so I tried petting her and she let me. She was a little startled at first but calmed down and fell asleep while I was scratching her head.

We are very excited by the progress.

What we did today while not finding out we were pregnant.

We have a new member of the Nienow-Hatzfeld family. We proudly present to you Fielder (Princess Fielder Nienow; pictured above with King Charles). She is a 15 lb adorable Shih-Tzu mix.

She comes to us from a puppy mill (via a Rescue Agency) where she was used to breed. She is incredibly timid and scared because the world around her is so new. She is 5 years-old but was in a puppy mill up until a month ago. As a result she is shy and reluctant to let anyone touch her. Seeing how frightened she gets makes me want to punch everyone who has ever worked at a puppy mill in the teeth.

The next few days/weeks/months are going to require a lot of patience and caring in order to establish the trust/love that has been missing her whole life. We can already tell that she will be a very loving dog when she gets the chance.

Thanks to those who gave us kick-ass references.

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So my Facebook status update read "So there's going to be a new member of the Nienow-Hatzfeld family." Responses:

Dude. Dude! DUDE. -Florida
WHAT DOES THAT MEANNN? -Kichler
Details, man. Details! -Majetich
Please say you're getting a pet monkey:) -Simo
Wow congratulations! I just hope this isn't a trick and its not like a plant or a pet monkey. -Matt Flynn
dudes, answer your phones goddamn! -Suz

I honestly didn't know our phones were off but that was hilarious when I turned my phone on. And screw you Matt. You'd be just as excited as I would be if I got a pet monkey.

Unnecessary Movie Review: Running Scared

I don't remember how this movie even ended up on my Netflix queue. All preliminary information would identify this as something I would not like to watch.

The reality of the situation was that I was pleasantly surprised by the not-that-terribleness of this movie. Paul Walker plays a gang member who is responsible for disposing of the gang's guns after shootings. He actually hides them in his basement. Unfortunately his son's friend witnesses this and uses one of the guns on his stepfather before running away. Walker has to track down the gun and fast before the police get it and connect it to his gang.

That's about it for the story. Rest assured that the story is just about the least essential thing to the movie. Everyone is playing a cardboard cutout of a character, which everyone involved does adequately enough. There are some side routes and minor twists before getting to the end but the reality is that most of these are only decent or worse off for the movie as a whole.

Cinematography is the heart of the film and it is shot amazingly well. Crane shots and slowed down rewinds to different angles of a single scene are common place, as well as shots from the bullet's point of view. The violence is a bit graphic in this film, something I am not a huge fan of in most films, so be prepared for that. The scene sets and lighting are stylized as well, and this reaches ridiculous proportions by the climax of the movie shot in an ultraviolet-lit hockey arena.

If the movie had a better story, some characterization, and anything other than the awful cheap ending that it has I would recommend it outright. As it is, this is a decent action movie that is all style over substance.

Straight up now tell me

Things are happening all the time which take priority. I would have made a note of them but they took priority.

The reality of the situation is that work has been very busy lately so I don't have as much time for internet recreation. Things are easing up now.

A few things to make note of:
- CHC this past weekend was frustrating and then good. We went 1-3 the first day losing to three teams that I could see us beating. Second day we went 3-0. I played my best game in game two of Sunday which we won 16-14. I got a handblock on game point and we then marched it in for the win. Cass got to watch me play on Sunday. That made it even better.

- Moon Dance is coming up. I'm excited.

- Wedding stuff is progressing. It's a slow process that frustrates us both for entirely different reasons.

- Our parents are meeting in a few weeks. That will be quite an update I'm sure.

I did want to construct an internet arrow for a couple of my posts on the baseball blog that I thought appealed to a wide audience instead of strictly baseball fans:

Baseball Movies wherein I rank the top five performances in films based on baseball.

All Rooting Interest Team wherein I name the players that I cheer for reasons other than their talent.

In a rad bit of derring-do my Ultimate team Salvage captured first place in the Cooler B Bracket this past weekend. I really had a lot of fun and I am finding myself enjoying playing with this team much more than I expected. That's not to say that I didn't expect to get along with most of the guys (I do) but that I expected to feel in the dumps after how tryouts went. I really only agreed to play with this team after finding out that I would get to play with Oba, Big Kat, Collins, and Nagel. We have the highest concentration of Buick of any team in Chicago.

I played well and have settled into a handler role on the team fairly well. I don't have to be the best player on the team which is a relief. I also find a lot of pressure taken off by not captaining and just playing while focusing on my game instead of everyone else's. I had a couple stupid drops but I also had a layout D and two sky Ds on hucks, which almost never happens seeing as how I am 5'6".

Winning is always fun and at Cooler you win a cheesecow for winning your bracket. That is literally a block of cheese in the shape of a cow. Victory tastes delicious.

The weekend was made so much better because Cass came with and cheered from the sideline. It's hard for me to focus on playing when every time I do something good on the field I hear "That's my fiancee!!" We stayed with Luke and Katie and were able to hang out a bit even thought they were busy doing home remodeling things. They seemed to really like the pirate ship and sea turtle that we got for them in Topsail.

Fire game this weekend for all non-whiners and crybabies.

Just me?

I can't be the only person who thinks this: anytime I see a direct-to-DVD movie advertised as "Unrated Edition" I think "Wow, they couldn't even get censors to watch this crap."

Cass and I are heading up to Milwaukee for the weekend for an ultimate tourney and to visit with Luke and Katie. We are planning on going to the Brewers game on Friday night too so I have to work on my smack talk.

Fuego Futbol

Cass and I have a bunch of (18) extra tickets to the Fire game for Sun Aug. 23 at 5pm. Tickets are only $10 and we have extra parking passes. First come first serve so make ya voice heard.

The toppest of the sail.

Cass and I had a great weekend in North Carolina with her family. We relaxed, got crushed by waves, found shark's teeth, finished several books, played games, drank, slept in, tossed disc and that about covers it. It was a much needed week off that recharged us both. Expect a picture blog soon from Cass as soon as all the pics are in. Until then though

This is seriously my favorite picture I have ever taken.

Consider the sand blasted.

Sandblast this past weekend was a ton of fun. Cass and I played well and enjoyed ourselves immensely. The Gladiators won the party but at the cost of winning on the second day. Totally worth it.

Oh crap softball...

I just realized that Cass and I have our next four weekends booked solid and our softball season is therefore over. I am really saddened by this.

Why yes, I am aware that I look just like my father.

Cass and I had a great time in Door County. It's always fun when we go up there but it's never consistent. Some trips are packed with things to do while others seem to have endless hours of nothing planned. This one was just perfect in that we had time to relax but also kept busy.

Charlie made his first road trip to visit his friend Aggie, whom he hadn't seen since she came to stay with Cass for a couple weeks. Luke and Katie brought the yippers as well so it was a packed house. Charlie did great. He slept in the car and didn't whine, he got along well with the other dogs and was well behaved, and the highlight of the trip was taking a 3 mile hike through sometimes dense forest paths at the state park with him and Aggie.

We bumped into Jess and Gabe at a country market while we were up there. Such a small world.

What the what

So there's been this insane tent erected at Van Buren and Aberdeen that makes it look like a nobleman is coming to town. We all wondered what it was.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

Go there a peruse the sight a bit until your brain comprehends the information it is processing. And then try to keep your face from melting.

Cass: "This is the closest to live unicorns that we're gonna get."

Golden Boot

I just wanted to take the time to say we had an awesome soccer season. Thanks to those who played and those who came to watch and support. We got better all season and really just went out and had fun which is what soccer is all about.

I also want to say how proud Cass makes me almost all the time. She dominates on the field and led the team in scoring, including a wondergoal from I'm guessing about 25 meters out for a win. She gets MVP with I'm guessing no objection at all.

See most of you this Saturday. Brace yourselves cuz there's no gravity.

Top 5

Top five moments from Homer at the Bat:
5. "I still like him better than Steinbrenner."
4. Mr. Burns's original desired lineup included a player that has been dead for 130 years.
3. Lenny's imagination of Homer with a laser that incinerates his opponents.
2. "Lord Palmerston!" "Pitt the Elder!"
1. The closing credits song.

I am prepared to defend all of these.

Men plan. God laughs.

Our housewarming party is June 20th so plan on a great night of ribaldry and the GIJoe Commando Attack Game.

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

We are in our new place now. Still organizing left to be done but it's feeling like home. We'll post pictures soon.

Lots of stuff has happened but I'm not up for the whole catchup post right now. Now that we're connected I'll just try to stay more on top of things.

We saw Up and both enjoyed it. I thought it had tremendous highs and lows. I'm not sure where it stacks up in the Pixar hierarchy just yet.

Ultimate zombie apartment

Fiancee and I found a place to live, which is fortunate because that is something we like doing. We are pretty excited as our new place has the following:

-in unit laundry
-diswasher
-space
-balcony

In looking for places I decided that I don't like fireplaces. A cabin is the only place they seem appropriate to me, certainly not immense hotel-like apartment buildings downtown.

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"I hate to say this but if you moved there it would mean the end of our friendship."

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I watched Zombie Strippers with Dave and Susan. Dave described it as the worst movie he has ever seen, and keep in mind Dave actively seeks out terrible things to watch. The movie tries really hard to be kitchy and self-aware but it is just awful. I was spared quite a bit since I was barely paying attention.

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"Wait. There's stripping in this movie?"

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Ultimate season is picking up which means more running which means more soreness. I am still excited to play hard again in good weather. Chicago winters are brutal. Also, it should be noted that the averages of covens are witch means.

The hand what will be slapping me.

That backhand is going to sting.

Notes: It's amethyst because Cass wanted color and both our birthdays are in February. I originally wanted a diamond between two amethysts (the inverse of this) but this came up in my searching and I liked it. The band is platinum because Cass is allergic to the planet.

Things we did this weekend while not getting engaged.

We started a Sunday night soccer team composed mostly of ultimate players. It's been a lot of fun even though we haven't found the back of the net yet. The important thing is that it is a fun group of people out enjoying themselves and each other.

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Apartment hunting is not fun. Not because we aren't finding things we like, although we ain't, but because it is exhausting and dumb. We have developed a set of criteria for a new place to meet so at least now we can focus.

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We went to Ed's birthday party at Buddy Guy's on Friday night and came to the conclusion that we both hate blues clubs. Blues music as a whole is something I would consider only ok and the venues are all dingy, excessively hot caves. We had a good time even though we didn't stay late partially because we ended up standing in puddles from the sweat pouring down my back.

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How I did it:
Cass was napping so I removed a shoelace from one of her running shoes by the front door. I put that in my pocket with the ring. Cass awoke but was very sleepy and in a daze. I felt I had already tricked her enough to get her to date me so the least I could do was wait until she was cognizant to ask her.

We put a pizza in the oven and while it cooked Cass woke up a bit. After we pulled it out Cass was in the kitchen getting things ready. I got Charlie in the living room and tied the ring around him using the shoelace. Then I got him to run into the kitchen by tossing a toy in that direction (for the uninitiated: Charlie is fairly simple).

Cass didn't notice him until I asked her what Charlie had on him. At first she thought I was just playing a trick on him. I asked her if she could tell what was on him. She didn't really answer as she was trying to figure it out and get the thing untied. She began to understand but was asking unfinished questions like "Is it...Is it for my...Did you..." She turned around and sat on the ground. At this point I was already on one knee. She ended up lower than me so I had to kind of sink down into a seated with one knee up position.

I asked the question and she said yes, although she was kind of sleepy still and in a bit of a state of shock. We had Cass wine and dinner while she started coming out of it and everything started becoming clear for her. She was red and adorable.

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And now for texts we got back from people after our announcement. Not all will be posted as we got so many. Thank you to all of you. Your support and joy mean so much.

Keep in mind that the text I sent out read "Cass just got a ring."

OMG! does this mean what i think it means!?
-Becky (Although we got some variation of this from several Damitz was the first to reply at all.) (I thought it was funny that people were confused and asked things like "so are you engaged" as if I would just randomly text them to let them know that Cass got a present.)

WHAT
-Susan

Oh jesus! did the beard give it 2 her?
-Rollins

From you?
-both Andre and Denny (who, it should be noted, have never met)

What????????!!!!!! You asked? She said yes?
-Sonal (punctuation preserved)

Congrats! If its an onion don't eat it
-Gelsthorpe (I am changing your ringtone to a rimshot Tom)

Does this mean you're BOTH off the market?
-Marincic

A wedding ring?? You guys are the most adorable couple ever, seriously. congratulations :)
-Vicky

color me not surprised. congratulations, mang!
-Chuck

Congrats and I call dibs on the "drunk guy" slot at the wedding
-Hagerman

Congrats! So exciting! How'd you do it? I want to hear about it!
-Kristen Turner

Billy Bob Thornton, self-described music historian, considers himself to be equal with Tom Petty.

The above is an interview conducted on CBC by Jian Ghomeshi with Billy Bob Thornton and his band. I'm not listing the band name here. In it Billy Bob acts completely distant and glib before becoming prickish and confrontational with the host. The reason for this is that Ghomeshi's introduction included mentions of Thornton's Hollywood career and Thornton wanted no mention of that. Apparently Thornton believes that his musical career should speak for itself.

What did BBT expect the host to do? Introduce him like any member of the band and have his audience wondering if it was that Billy Bob Thornton?

During the beginning of the interview BBT is just distant and nonresponsive. Instead of immediately bringing up a minor issue he avoids questions and talks about a monster magazine he read when he was a kid. It is important to note that all of the interviewer's questions were about music and the band and never focused on Billy Bob's other career.

It's when BBT actually decides to confront the issue that he genuinely looks like a d-bag. Some choice quotes from BBT follow (with commentary!!)

Would you say that to Tom Petty?
BBT just likened himself to Tom Petty. A few things: first, BBT is nowhere near as talented as Tom Petty in any capacity. Second, Tom Petty should be pissed right now. And third, if Tom Petty started acting it would be appropriate to say he has always been passionate about film (if that were true). The reason it's relavent would be because he is a great musician who is being interviewed in the context of his acting career. Like how BBT is a crappy actor being interviewed about his band.

Ghomeshi then points out that in the introduction he was just giving context for who BBT is and the band's trajectory.

Well there's plenty of context for that.
I can't imagine what that would be since Ghomeshi also mentioned the band's activity in the last year (three albums) and their current tour. Ghomeshi then rightfully brings up the fact that this is a relatively new band (two years) that is getting to tour with/open for Willie Nelson and that the reason the band is getting that opportunity is because BBT is famous. BBT never addresses this completly valid point, because it is accurate and contrary to his delusional beliefs about his own talent, except to say:

We aren't a new band. I've made 8 albums.
I checked and BBT is counting the ones he made with the band. BBT's five solo albums date all the way back to 2001. His film career took off in 1996 after the release of Sling Blade yet he doesn't realize that the opportunity to make these albums probably had something to do with his acting career.

You were also instructed to not mention anything about how this is my "first love." You wouldn't say that to Tom Petty. My first love was a chick named Lisa Cone.
This is idiotic. I'm sure no one thought Ghomeshi was implying that BBT ever wanted to screw music. They then call a truce and Ghomeshi asks about musical influences on the band's record. BBT manages to answer like a prick who doesn't know the definition of the word truce.

It's a mixture of the British Invasion and Hillbilly music, something that I know more about than a band that's say 20 years old. But you wouldn't say that to uh...I grew up as pretty much a music historian so...
This is a classic coward dodge: referring to a phantom expertise with no ability to legitimize it. He wanted to say Tom Petty again too. I don't know if he realized how ridiculous it was or just got lost in a different train of thought. Ghomeshi then asks if there are any bands that are doing what they are doing.

Not lately. Not in the last 30 years.
I haven't heard the record, but I am sure that this isn't true. Every band sounds different but the idea that there are no similar bands in the last 30 years would seem doubtful at any point, but the rest of the interview almost ensures that this statement is purely ego driven. BBT then takes a shot at Canadians saying that audiences in Canada are reserved and calls them:

...mashed potatoes with no gravy.
BBT has obviously never been to a hockey game. Canadian music fans, regardless of how they react in concert, are supporting the bands they see including BBT's. He chooses to lash out at them instead of being grateful.

I never like BBT as an actor/director/writer. He always seemed like a jerk and I'm glad to be proven right. He completely derailed this interview and it became about him instead of the band anyway. The band members were silent during the confrontation and I'm sure felt awkward for most of it. BBT's prickishness however means I am not supporting his career at all which is why I am not even mentioning the band's name here.

Big ups on Ghomeshi for his professionalism and also his demeanor in refusing to back down when BBT confronted him. Big ups on the Canadian fans who reportedly booed the hell out of BBT at the show. Too bad they didn't get the chance to keep doing it since the band pulled out of the remaining shows in Canada because of the flu.

No physical confrontation content

Two tournaments with Buick have come and went without me mentioning them and that is a shame. This is a team that I love playing with for all the right reasons: fun, competitive teammates. Every guy on the team is enjoying themselves and playing hard and I couldn't wish for anything more on an ultimate field. I've been working hard to keep up with them seeing as I'm the grandpa on the team. I feel good and have been trying my hardest to be the smartest player and make the best decisions. I think this is what my position on the field should always be.

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"Buick came here to [curse word] [different curse word] up!"

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Cass and I visited Keith in Madison last weekend and had a great time. New Glarus is still sold there and thank the heavens for that because it made ordering everywhere easy. We did Madison things like had brats and walked down State St. In general though we spent our time hanging with Keith and Jules and it was well worth the trip. Keith is done with school this May. Cass is fuh-reaking out.

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"If you want the real Madison experience you have to go in here and try a veggie burger."

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Cass and I were deadly ill last week. Dave has been sick for some time. Cass doesn't believe that we have the same illness as Dave. None of this matters since unless Armaggedon is here Susan should still be sick and none of us have the right to complain.

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"What were you doing when you were supposed to be getting an immune system?"

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Our collective illness peaked on Tuesday night, unfortunate since that has been our trivia night for some time. We venture up to Cans in Wicker to meet with Callie, Dave, Jen and Jenny as well as waitress Melissa and triviamaster Dan. It's a blast and we are generally competitive. We have yet to finish first while I have been there although we came in second the past two times I was there. I also came to find out that trivia Dan runs the trivia at the Logan Grill as well. Small world Krislin (that is totally not going to get over).

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"How about "The Triviamaster is an [curse word]" as a teamname?"

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J moved to town and I haven't seen him yet. My beard is anxious to nuzzle him.

State and Maine

The week before we left I realized that my iPod was not going to work. It had been acting funny lately but still functioned provided that I didn't dare use my Nike+. This irritated me as it would be nice to have on the plane and I wouldn't have a chance to take it in to the Apple store so they can do whatever they do then charge me $80. Fortunately Cass gave me "Baseball by the Numbers" for V-Day so between that and the DS she got me Cass was doing a fine job to ensure I would never have to talk to her.

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"How's the nerd Bible?"

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Seafood was the order of the weekend seeing as how it's one of like four things people know about Maine (blueberries, snow, and okay I lied three things). Over the course of the weekend we had lobster, crab, haddock, and shrimp. Everything we had was good although we came to the conclusion that crab tastes better than lobster. I still regret not letting Cass have one of my shrimp. It should be noted that in Maine lobster is available at McDonalds. It's called a McLobster.

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"The award for laziest product naming goes to..."

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Jay teaches at Colby College in Maine. We took a tour and it's a nice campus although strangely empty. I know it was a weekend but I've seen ghost towns in Wyoming that were more crowded. That was a joke of course since everyone knows ghosts hate Wyoming.

The school mascot is the Mules. Yeah, awesome.

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"Why are you picking on me?"

"Because I have to go home with her and she scares me."

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I had fun skiing. Cass did not. It was too icy for her tastes and since the run we chose to go on was 3 miles long (literally) she had no choice but to tough it out. She did and I am proud of her.

The hill would be gorgeous if not for the ice. On the way up they said "It's not great and we only have 96 runs open today."

I'm obligated to mention that I fell and hit a tree (technically).

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"He's known as the fun one. I have no idea why."

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Thanks for a great weekend, Valerie and Jay. And thanks to the Palmer Hall residents for watching Charlie. I'm sure he had a great time.

Happy Birthday Cass

Everyone loves you.

House Party 8: The Mystic Boogaloo

Since I last posted here several of my friends have played host to enjoyable festivities. Marty and Megan hosted an excellent Super Bowl party with good eats and better sideshows. I won $1 from Colin on a sidebet because I guessed when a Coke commercial would be on. Jay made awesome wings and we found out that yes, wing sauce does indeed sting if it gets in your eye. The Boss rocked the halftime with a decent (read: not perfect) setlist but unfortunately will be remembered most for assailing a camera with his crotch. Damn, that's a lucky camera.

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"You've got to give it to Bruce. He works hard for it every time."

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Colin, Jay, and Simone hosted a birthday party for our young friend Majetich. There was so much revelry that it took some of the best of us down. Marty and Megan arrived well into the bag and I'm assuming that contributed to Marty's decision to bench press Rachel, who it should be noted did a good job of getting bench pressed. We had a great time chatting about zombies and cheese but had to bail early.

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"God, my husband is so embarassing."

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Brian and Liz had people over for a quieter evening that was no less enjoyable. It was a celebration of their furlough which made me want to wear pajamas. I instead wore my unicorn jersey and felt it was an even trade. Bear managed to spill red wine all over my jersey and socks. He is forgiven. You would have to ask Jay about Simone's status in regards to forgiveness for wine accidents. A feisty game of Trivial Pursuit was won (read: dominated) by myself, Cass, Brian, and Liz. It was really a group effort and we managed to avoid any of the salvo being launched between our opponents.

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"What category did you want to get wrong?"

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I've been working hard to stay on a schedule for fitness this offseason. I have a new Yoga DVD (Power Yoga for Athletes so it's pretty manly) that is a good workout on offdays so I don't have to go to the gym everyday. It's already less crowded there (thank God for fickle undergrads) than it was at the beginning of the year so it wouldn't be that big of a deal but I enjoy the DVD and it's getting nice enough to run outside. I hope it stays this way even though Cass thinks nature is toying with us.

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"Hahaha take that stupid humans."

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Dave and I own Breakin' and Breakin' 2 now so people who aren't us are decidedly not as good.

This is how we raged in 2008

GOOD

Movie: Wall-E
I really don't know what I can say about this movie that hasn't been said. I loved the art, the characters, the story, the voice acting. I can't imagine seeing a more thoroughly enjoyable movie for some time.
Runner-Up: In Bruges

Television: 30 Rock
Tina Fey became something of a darling during the presidential campaign for her portrayal of Sarah Palin but it is her work on 30 Rock that really shows her talent as a writer. The show is smart and fast, which is good since there are enough funny ancillary characters to generate several spin-offs.
Runner-Up: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Music: Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
It's really good music and I feel like I could listen to it with my parents, which is kind of rare for a modern band.
Runner-Up: Eagles of Death Metal - Heart On

Athlete: Michael Phelps
Hooray for big, goofy looking white guys everywhere.
Runner-Up: Usain Bolt (get it?)

BAD

Movie: You Don't Mess with The Zohan
I didn't watch any really bad movies this year. I saw 15 minutes of this on a plane and was unimpressed. It will have to count.
Runner-Up: House Bunny (didn't see it; I dare you to prove me wrong)

TV: Kath & Kim
It is bad and not really in an interesting way.
Runner-Up: The Big Bang Theory

Music: Bloc Party - Intimacy

I don't know what I expected but it certainly wasn't this. The whole album sounds overproduced and there are only a few tracks worth saving.
Runner-Up: Jack Johnson - Sleep Through the Static (Pandora, please stop thinking I would ever want to hear Jack Johnson.)

Athlete: Brett Favre
Remember all that love I had for Favre? It will be a while before I feel that way again.

Runner-Up: Stephon Marbury

Unnecessary Movie Review: The Wrestler

Colin (Last name removed to protect something or other. Ask Cass.) saw the movie the Wrestler along with myself and Cass, who watched the movie with Colin. Colin did not hang out after watching the movie the Wrestler with us but Colin did stick around long enough to watch the movie the Wrestler with us.

The movie is very good. I am interested in watching The Fountain because thus far every Aronofsky movie has been so different and kind of insane in a unique way.

Rourke totally deserved the win for best actor. He was great and totally immersed himself in a role he was probably too adept to play. Tomei was good and Wood was good. The only acting that wasn't great were the wrestlers but they aren't paid to act. Wait...

The story moved well and didn't labor any points. I felt disconnected from a lot of the self-destructive things he did because I am so used to seeing wrestlers do bad things to themselves. Cass was very uncomfortable with certain parts and I honestly can't blame her. The scenes weren't there to show something normal happening. They were to show a guy at his job and that his job makes him do crazy things to his body.

Cass and I both thought the movie might make me cry. It did not. Not because it wasn't emotional or because I didn't feel for the characters. It felt familiar to me because I am a wrestling fan. The movie felt real to me. This is best endorsement I can give.

The soundtrack was amusing because it is mostly 80s metal throughout and then an incredibly beautiful track from Bruce when the credits show up. It is kind of a jarring transition but it fits the film really well.

Overall, it was a really good movie but not because I am a wrestling fan. It was a good movie because it was a good movie.

The Great Lord Humungus will now address you

The holiday season was wonderful. We had a great time with our families and got plenty of resting and relaxation done. I made Cass a gorilla.

Haul:
-Nintendo DS
-the complete Twilight Zone
-Under Armour leggings
-nose hair trimmer
-The Assassination of Jesse James DVD
-some books
-many other wonderful things

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"The guy from Star Wars. Not the kid. Like when you go to the gynecologist. Blank Blank Gee Why En."

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New Year's was a lot of fun. Thank you to Nate and Kate for hosting. We had fun and I got a good book out of it.

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"That is quite the endless parade of dudes."

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We went and saw The Wrestler with NOT Megan and Marty. Full movie review coming.

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"Why would someone put their body through that?"
"I don't really have a good answer to that other than the movie itself."

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We finally developed the pictures from Hallowinona. We won the whole thing. It occurs to me I forgot to mention that.