Thanks to the giving

They're still racing out at the Trestles,
But that blood it never burned in her veins,
Now I hear she's got a house up in Fairview,
And a style she's trying to maintain.
Well, if she wants to see me,
You can tell her that I'm easily found,
Tell her there's a spot out 'neath Abram's Bridge,
And tell her, there's a darkness on the edge of town.

Everybody's got a secret, Sonny,
Something that they just can't face,
Some folks spend their whole lives trying to keep it,
They carry it with them every step that they take.
Till some day they just cut it loose
Cut it loose or let it drag 'em down,
Where no one asks any questions,
or looks too long in your face,
In the darkness on the edge of town.

Some folks are born into a good life,
Other folks get it anyway, anyhow,
I lost my money and I lost my wife,
Them things don't seem to matter much to me now.
Tonight I'll be on that hill 'cause I can't stop,
I'll be on that hill with everything I got,
Lives on the line where dreams are found and lost,
I'll be there on time and I'll pay the cost,
For wanting things that can only be found
In the darkness on the edge of town.

A list constantly being updated

Ways I am like Charlie:
- very grumpy in the morning
- slow to wake up
- fast eater
- stubborn
- sore most of the time
- very protective of Cass and Fielder

Ways Cass is like Fielder:
- adorable
- easily excited
- does a little dance when really excited
- easily distracted by birds
- very shy in large crowds
- very devoted to Charlie and I

Le Petit Prince

So I've had this post rolling around in my head for some time. There's quite a lot of other stuff going on in there too but this post has survived in the cage for a while now.

Prince Fielder is my favorite baseball player. I don't know when this happened, that is that he became my favorite. Prince Fielder happened on May 9, 1984 at least according to Wikipedia and our accepted definition of when someone's life begins. Prince became a Milwaukee Brewer in June of 2002, in the first round with the seventh overall pick. This pick would be somewhat important in the novel Moneyball, in that it set the stage for Billy Beane's Oakland Atheltics to select Nick Swisher. It's one of my favorite stories in the book, because the rest of the book is devoted to how the A's saw through conventional baseball analysis to select players based on their on field performance as opposed to their look. Then during the section on the draft when the Brewers take Fielder the book takes the time to ridicule his weight and speed. I'm not sure that Beane shared this view, he probably just thought he couldn't afford to keep Fielder (a correct assumption it turned out) and wanted Swisher instead. Still, Michael Lewis at the very least can suck on .282/.390/.540 lifetime. Fielder could be argued to be the best player in that draft class.

Honestly though his skill is only part of the reason I like Prince as much as I do. I have wrote love sonnets in my heart for the way the man attacks the ball at the plate. Baseballs grow up hearing scary stories about Prince Fielder. He also is way faster than he would seem and once he gets going it's an amazing sight. I've seen him lower his shoulder into Yadier Molina at the plate and then help him up and give a pat on the back when Yadi hung onto the ball. I've seen Fielder laughing and enjoying the game as often as I've seen him with an expressionless scowl as he steps in to take a swing.

The Milwaukee Brewers are my favorite baseball team. They are my hometown team and while that doesn't mean as much now as it used to in terms of exposure they still remain etched in my memories of childhood. I cheer for them when they lose and when they win. This past season was the best the Brewers have ever had and I cheered for them. This upcoming season could be their worst and I will cheer for them.

Prince Fielder is not a Milwaukee Brewer anymore. He signed a nine year $214 million contract to play for the Detroit Tigers. At the time most focused in on what an obscene amount of money that is, and it literally is obscene. If you hear about someone making $214 million the first word you think of is "F**K." I honestly didn't think about the money that much. I just thought about how I would miss seeing Prince in a Brewer uniform.

I knew this was coming. I knew that a team would offer a young All-Star (with pedigree even!) a ridiculous amount of money that a team like the Brewers couldn't dream of offering. I didn't know it would be the Tigers. Many reports had linked the Cubs as being in the running, and I was secretly excited. Unlike most sports fans I don't really ascribe to rivalries and hatred of everything under a teams banner. I don't like the Yankees. I like Curtis Granderson. I can keep these things separate. I don't like the Cubs (settle down, Dave). I like Prince Fielder. I live in Chicago. I can see the benefit in that setup.

Prince had prepared me for the eventuality anyway. Fielder's agent was Scott Boras for a reason. I knew this. He knew this. He had said during the season that it was in all likelihood his last in Milwaukee. It's not what he wanted necessarily, but as a young commodity he was going to cash in while he could. I can't really begrudge him for this. He is set for life, as are his loved ones.

I'd have loved for Prince to be a Brewer for life but he's not and that's how it is. Baseball is a game but it's a business. Anyone who can make money off of playing the game and doesn't is a fool and isn't really looking out for his own interests. People talk about how small the difference between contracts are but not making as much as you can while you can is just selling yourself short and letting others make money off of you.

I named my dog after Prince Fielder and she is the most wonderful little muppet in the entire world. I am happy with this decision.

Prince Fielder will be coming with the Detroit Tigers to Chicago to play the White Sox several times this season. I plan on being there to cheer for him. Prince may win the World Series with Detroit this year or the next or anytime in the future. I will cheer for him then. Prince may win an MVP trophy and break the single season record for home runs. I will cheer for him then. Prince may foul a ball off his foot on opening day, completely shattering his ankle and derailing his career. I will be cheering for him when he comes back.

Prince Fielder is my favorite baseball player.

Purrfect vacation

I submitted a review to TripAdvisor after our stay. I'm not sure I did it right.

Our resort.

My review is still pending. Let's see if it gets accepted. Here's the review :

I thought I should share my experiences at the Sunset Jamaica Grande since I can provide a somewhat unique perspective. I am one of the cats who lives here, you see, and I doubt many travelers get the chance to hear from us, since most of you are grungy and sketchy looking we tend to scurry when you come near.

I've been living on the grounds of this hotel for several months now. I venture into the island on occasion, usually out of necessity, very rarely to sight see. The town is covered in litter and while this provides ample hiding places it is not very picturesque. Many attractions are too touristy much of the time for my tastes, resulting primarily from the cruise ships that dock in the bay. I mention the ships to say that it would seem beneficial for guests of the resort to know when the cruise ships will be docking so that they may schedule some island trips for when things are less crowded. If Sunset Jamaica Grande provides such a schedule it has never been placed where I could see it.

On to the resort itself, the grounds truly are beautiful and that is part of the reason I stay. The south beach stretches far and a smaller cove to the north provides a secluded spot for activities or relaxation. The grounds during the day and night provide many alcoves and nooks for me to explore, and guests to find some privacy I suppose. It is amazing that a hotel of this size does afford some privacy but the careful layout does just that.

Ah, the size of the hotel. It is rather large, the largest in Ocho Rios to be sure. As such it accommodates a rather wide cross-section of people, much like a mid-level hotel. Don't expect an isolated, upper-class atmosphere here as everything from retirees, spring-breakers (whatever on earth that is), and families with sticky faced children who try to pet me come to stay. Honestly, parents, I am at best an island cat. I could be diseased, although I am fortunately quite healthy thank you. Regardless, show some concern and keep your kids' hands away from me.

Most of you white women have too many tattoos and are quite unattractive up close. Use some sunscreen, your skin is gross. And learn some restraint. It's noon, you should not be "five drinks deep." Ack. Sorry, that is my way of indicating I coughed up a hairball in disgust.

The rooms at the resort are also much like a mid-range hotel. It's decent accommodation with good balconies and views but not many amenities. I don't venture much into the cabana suites but several of those face into the back of utility buildings. I imagine that could be very aggravating for a guest who paid the extra fees. Also it's much easier for cats to get into these cabanas. Several of my friends highly recommend it.

Much like many of the human guests I have difficulty getting into the restaurants for dinner. I eat at the buffet most often and the food there is decent. Better than kibble at the very least. The system they have for dinner reservations for the guests is, even to my simple mind, moronic. Guests line up to be there at 830am to book reservations for the next night. And the line system is chaotic. Most guests could stand to be more civil, but the resort itself is responsible for the poor system. It seems like things book up far too quickly. Many times I suggest you follow my lead and simply try to walk in without reservations. The food in the Italian restaurant is quite good.

The staff is very friendly for the most part. They don't hesitate to provide the occasional bite of food when droppings become rare. Me and my friends do keep to ourselves mostly though, and are not like the riff raff you may find in other places. We consider ourselves a bit more proper. We would never jump up on the tables to steal food, even if left behind by an inconsiderate guest who desperately needs to get to the beach. The kitchen staff greatly prefers if I stay out of the kitchen areas. I'd imagine this goes for human guests as well.

For those interested I have in fact visited other hotels. Quite a few actually. I am originally from the southern end of the island and have made my way along the coast, stopping at the many resorts along the way for brief stays until my wanderlust awoke and pushed my furry legs to venture forward. Many times it is due to the bands at the resorts becoming unbearable. One can only hear so many Bob Marley covers. Play some Desmond Dekker you fools. Oh, but I digress. The point being I have seen many island resorts in my time and in truth plan on venturing onward quite soon from this location. I hope the next home I find is someplace a little less busy. I could use a change of pace and long for some more quiet evenings where the only sound is the soft purr of the ocean waves.

Irie mon,
Jameowca

UPDATE: My review got accepted somehow. As of 11:18AM CST one person has found it helpful.
http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g147312-d567171-r127102829-Sunset_Jamaica_Grande_Resort-Ocho_Rios_Jamaica.html#CHECK_RATES_CONT

UPDATE: They took the review down. Last I saw it had 17 people who found it helpful. They didn't send any email or anything, they just removed it. Which is too bad because when I wrote it I was looking forward to an email that said "We don't believe you are actually a cat."

Everything aye ree or something

T-minus seven and a half hours or so until Cass and I go get our respective grooves back. I'm stoked.

I'm not crazy looking forward to some jerk on a cell phone ruining my sandcastle though.

What day is today?

It's Cass's Birthday. What a day for a birthday. Let's all have some cake.

That will either make you happy or give you nightmares. Love you.

Baby making

Cass and I are watching Mad Men. It's very good, but when Duck Phillips is on all I can think is "man that guy looks like Charles Grodin and Mike Nelson had a baby."

There might be some Bob Newhart in there too.

Pitch meeting

What is with the rash of commercials recently where the people in them act like pompous dickbags? Is the idea that people will see the commercial and recognize behavior they find so hateful and annoying that they are compelled to buy your products and smash them? Or that the public is so desperate to be superior that if you show people acting smug about your product that people will assume it exudes that ever elusive smugness they crave?

It's just a question. Whatever, screw it. I'm on board. Here's some more ideas:

- Lord Byron and Oscar Wilde are playing golf in Hawaii. A twosome of Larry the Cable Guy and Tim Allen comes up and asks if they can play through. Byron and Wilde spend two minutes ridiculing Allen and Guy's shabby appearance. Buy Titleist.

- Bobby Knight runs over an entire kindergarten class. Buy Buick.

- Sean Penn is receiving and award at the You're So Amazing Awards. He checks his watch and it's on West African Daylight Time. Buy Timex.

- The cast of Jersey Shore is shown doing anything at all. Buy Axe Bodyspray.

Rate or Die

In a modern age when a) an increasing number of people watch TV online and b) almost all devices used by major cable companies have capabilities for rapid two way information exchange THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE but not for the reasons outlined in the article.

If you don't want to bother reading that the article talks about how the Nielsen ratings are determined by 25,000 households. That is approximately 0.0217 percent of the U.S. households. And that might sound shockingly low but the reality is that 25,000 is well above a statistically significant sample size. And as much as it sucks that a few hundred households means I can't watch Community I don't have a problem with the basis of the math.

The point is that the Nielsen rating system is antiquated and has some serious gaps in its measurements. The basis for the measurements was sound but technology has since evolved and a better understanding can be attained, and fairly easily. In addition it seems like networks could figure out ways to make money off of shows with devoted followings.

Regardless, I want Community back but I'm still a nerd.

When making things plural you can't forget DS

I read this list over at Kotaku. They did a pretty good job, and I can't say I've played all the games listed so I can't complain about the list too much, except I'm totally going to do that.

I won't ever be able to comment on Ghost Trick because I hated the Phoenix Wright games so damn much. I must be the only one. Ninja Gaiden was fun but the controls were so frustratingly specific that it was aggravating to play it at times.

Here's my top five though, in order:

1) The World Ends With You
They got the stuff about TWEWY just right. That game was fun and the characters and story were so great.
2) Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes
I can't find enough people to play this game against. I want a lot of them.
3) Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
4) The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass
All that stuff they said about Spirit Tracks was bull. The train was annoying, not fun in anyway. Sailing around was a million times more fun.
5) Professor Layton and the Unwound Future

This post was brought on by me playing the game Luke got me for Christmas: Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. I don't think I like it very much. It's ok, I guess, but if you're going to have those first two words in your title I expect more than ok.

And yeah I'm avoiding posting about something major that happened recently (hint: I named my dog after him) that I should really get to. I will. I'm just processing I guess.

"A pox on your house."

I heard this expression the other day. It's an old fashioned curse/insult that old prospectors and possibly English lords used to throw at each other. I don't actually know the etymology.

What I do know is that the real, literal definition of what that means is "I hope your family gets sick and dies."

Sometimes being a literal person can be awesome.

Completely extremely no in any way related note: Congrats to Martha and Matt.

TripAgitator

Ok so a little back story: Cass and I are planning a vacation. We are looking at resorts and last minute deals and such. Trying to do due diligence when researching resorts is frustrating and stressful. I hate it. So when something like this rolls along it makes me smile a little.

We use TripAdvisor reviews among other things to try to get a feel for the places we are looking at. A feature I was unaware of allows the hotel staff to respond to the reviews. This almost never occurs, and I was unaware of it until we stumbled across Krystal Cancun. Therein almost every review has a reply from Paris Aguilar, who is apparently the Lobby Manager at this resort. And when I say almost every review I mean even ones where only one sentence is written, like "Enjoyed our stay, food was just ok but the staff was great!" Paris will be there with a followup. She is the Cal Ripken of whatever the hell I'm talking about.

So one reviewer posts a review and at first I am taken aback by how glib it is, because usually when people have a bad experience at these resorts they complain about it for nine paragraphs on these sites. But this one offered almost no detail, except to complain about Paris Aguilar by name.

I have come around to thinking that this is a troll by someone who, like me, happened upon the reviews and decided to mess with Paris Aguilar. And as you can see, it worked. So I'm hoping this is true and if so kudos to CR1412 for irritating a complete stranger so effectively.

I know why the raged bird sings (2011)

I'm late in getting to this but it's time for me to look back and say things I like.

GOOD

Movie: Hugo
I just loved this, and while the 3D helped I can't really call it essential to the film. Just a beautiful movie and the love Scorsese had for what he was doing really showed.
Runner-Up: Attack the Block
I'm seriously so close to flipping these. ATB was just awesome and fun.

Television: Louie
What Louis C.K. is doing with the format and power he was given is seriously incredible. There are episodes that remind you why he's a great comedian and others that remind you he's a great filmmaker. The whole package is only loosely related but it shows tremendous skill.
Runner-Up: Parks and Recreation

Music: The Joy Formidable - The Big Roar
I was more surprised by how much I like this album than anything else this year.
Runner-Up: Childish Gambino - Camp

Athlete: Robin van Persie
In all honesty I wasn't a huge fan of RvP up until last year. He was always that talented guy on Arsenal who was hurt too often. This past year was incredible though and even though I'd love for someone else on the team to score regularly it's hard to stop cheering. *note: still not my favorite player on the team
Runner-Up: Aaron Rodgers
It's undeniable that Aaron Rodgers in the calendar year 2011 was really awesome.


BAD

Movie: The Green Hornet
Not terrible, just terribly disappointing. I avoided seeing too many terrible movies this year.
Runner-Up: Horrible Bosses
Aimless.

TV: Whitney
Holy crap. NBC needs to seriously cut their losses and look for ways to just profit off their cult hits/critic's choice programming. Stop trying to appeal to whatever the hell this is aimed at.
Runner-Up: Hater

Music: The Lonely Island - Turtleneck and Chain
Just mediocre overall. Nothing really stood out except for two tracks, and one of those came out several months before the album.
Runner-Up: Jay-Z and Kanye West - Watch the Throne

Athlete: Sepp Blatter
Not actually an athlete but in the world of sport there is no bigger cat party.
Runner-Up: Ndomakung Suh
Special note: I decided to reserve these spots for people who do awful things within their realm of sport. Obviously the Penn State scandal was much worse but it wasn't within the realm of the sport. I have perspective.

Merry Religiously Nondenominational Holiday Time

Hope you all had a very wonderful holiday. I miss so many of you.

That video was awesome and opening night got me pumped for the season again, even if the Heat will win 60 games in a 60 game season. As a fan of both classic imagery in sports and anachronism it got to me. I want a huge poster of that last image.

Dive

The commercial above aired frequently during the MLB Playoffs and it really got to me.

Professionals. Do not attempt.

What could this possibly mean? Both parts of it have several explanations.

Professionals. Professional what? Professional people who grab lightning balls and jump out of planes at insane heights in order to hurl them into clouds? If this is the case, then awesome. And I am going to do everything in my power to attempt to do this.

Professional skydivers? Ok well that makes more sense at least. But I'm still not sure that a professional skydiver does what was depicted (jumping out of the back of a cargo plane) regularly.

Do not attempt. Which part of that do they not want me to attempt? The lightning ball freefall part? Because I just explained that is now the beginning and end of my bucket list.

Do not attempt to skydive? People do that all the time. Amateurs even. It's actually the lifeblood of the skydiving industry.

Do not attempt to skydive from extreme heights from the back of a cargo plane? I imagine if someone has the means to do that they are relying on other resources than a phone commercial for safety advice.

It's clear that Verizon believes we are stupidly insane or insanely stupid. I'm going to throw so much lightning at them.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!

Men walkin' 'long the railroad tracks
Goin' someplace there's no goin' back
Highway patrol choppers comin' up over the ridge
Hot soup on a campfire under the bridge
Shelter line stretchin' round the corner
Welcome to the new world order
Families sleepin' in their cars in the southwest
No home no job no peace no rest

The highway is alive tonight
But nobody's kiddin' nobody about where it goes
I'm sittin' down here in the campfire light
Searchin' for the ghost of Tom Joad

He pulls prayer book out of his sleeping bag
Preacher lights up a butt and takes a drag
Waitin' for when the last shall be first and the first shall be last
In a cardboard box 'neath the underpass
Got a one-way ticket to the promised land
You got a hole in your belly and gun in your hand
Sleeping on a pillow of solid rock
Bathin' in the city aqueduct

The highway is alive tonight
But where it's headed everybody knows
I'm sittin' down here in the campfire light
Waitin' on the ghost of Tom Joad

Now Tom said "Mom, wherever there's a cop beatin' a guy
Wherever a hungry newborn baby cries
Where there's a fight 'gainst the blood and hatred in the air
Look for me Mom I'll be there
Wherever there's somebody fightin' for a place to stand
Or decent job or a helpin' hand
Wherever somebody's strugglin' to be free
Look in their eyes Mom you'll see me."

The highway is alive tonight
But nobody's kiddin' nobody about where it goes
I'm sittin' downhere in the campfire light
With the ghost of old Tom Joad

Brewers!!!!!!!!!

Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

Lisa Edelstein and Rena Sofer

I can't be the only one who didn't realize that these were two different actresses. Here I had been thinking for years that Zack Morris picked up Bobbie Bernstein in a Hawaiian airport and nope that's not true.

Somewhat related I also thought for some time that Paula Marhsall and Carla Gugino were the same person. I picked up on my mistake faster but just now realized that Marshall is seven years older than Gugino.

The El Word

I've been thinking something over lately as I take my morning train ride to work, and to a less extent during the ride home as well. It's the idea of chivalry vs. feminism.

I get on the train early enough in the route that I have a seat on all except the rarest occasion when the train is irrationally late. There's a joke to be made here about the train always being late but seriously unless it's a half hour behind I'm just too close to the end to be on a full car.

So then it falls to me that when the train fills up at say Belmont or Logan Square that I have to decide if I'm going to stand up and offer my seat to someone.

Now I always do this in the case of an elderly or handicapped person without question. But many times I find myself sitting while a woman is forced to stand. There was a time when such an act would have me branded an uncouth ruffian and forcibly removed from the Hunting Lodge that very evening. There was also a time when people died of ptomaine poisoning and blamed it on ghosts.

I'm a staunch advocate for women's rights and gender equality. So by not giving up my seat I am treating a woman no different than I would a man. However I'm also a firm believer in just being a nice person so giving up my seat to a woman is just something polite I can do for a weary traveller on her morning commute.

Many times I'm too tired to make any rational decision or too focused on my reading to let the outside world interfere. Still I find myself more often than not just sitting and riding it out. Does that make me ungentlemanly? What's the consensus view on this?

Another quandary: does anyone else get worried that when they get off the train they spend the whole day smelling like the train?

Stone Cold Gunner

I don't have many other places to post this but I need to talk Arsenal.

So obviously I'm upset today. We lost to an inferior team in a game that we controlled throughout. It's frustrating to be sure but some fans are basically bagging the season already. This is insane to be sure and I'm certainly not ready to do that. They are also saying that Wenger should be sacked. This is profoundly insane.

Sacking Wenger means starting over from scratch as I'm positive that at least half the roster would leave. Many players come play at Arsenal just to play under Wenger and losing him means losing the core of the team as well as the youth. Sacking him is not an option. Restructuring his position could be. Wenger is known for two things: being a great manager and unwilling to spend an extra penny on what his determined value for players are. (Ok third thing: the "I didn't really see it" post-game interview.) If we want to change his decision making power in terms of personnel decisions that might be worth considering. But at the same time he is a tremendous judge of talent in general so he definitely still needs to be involved.

With regards to the season I think it's ridiculous to start making judgments. Many of our significant signings have been playing with the team for two weeks. To make an assessment of their abilities as a team now is rushing. That being said I thought that was a major mistake at the time. The signings should have been locked up much sooner to give the team time to adjust and understand each other prior to the season.

The Fabregas saga drug on too long though and Wenger wouldn't spend until that was over. (Nasri drug out too but that wasn't as distracting, although it was frustrating.) I wish it would have gotten done in the early summer to avoid this very problem but here it is. Related to that I am super pissed now that Gas is tearing things up for Barca that their president realizes that Wenger had him valued correctly and he was worth more than they paid. Thanks for saying that, wanker.

Regardless the main issue is how is this team going to be better than last year? We lost the middle of the field in Fabregas and Nasri?

I said when we sold Fabregas that we have to sign someone spectacular to replace him. That hasn't happened. Fabregas is an elite level player and Nasri is a good player who's shown signs of brilliance. Looking at who has come in there is Arteta, Benayoun and Chu-Young. All good players but no one of the elite talent of Fabregas. I said at the time that replacing an elite player with two or three good ones will not make this team better. My hope was that they spun the money directly and bought Wesley Sneijder. I still wish they had.

You can't count the defensive signings because those needed to be made anyway. Mertesacker is decent but can't be the anchor of the line. If Vermaelen were back there it would be different but he's made of glass and instead we have Koscielny, who is terrible. I'd be so much happier with Cahill but of course that meant spending an extra $4 million or so. Wenger didn't think he was worth that much. The difference though is that Cahill is much better than Mertesacker and to get that you have to pay for it. It's the market not the player sometimes.

Hazard would have been a nice addition but that fell apart. Supposedly he'll come in January and that might be a nice midseason upgrade. Still I maintain that Arteta, while good, is a player in a downswing of his career. Benayoun and Chu-Young are fine but really how much better than Arshavin or Ramsey are they? I'd take Sneijder and either of those two over any combination we can throw out right now. I realize that would mean spending more money. Great players are worth more money.

And how great would Van Persie play with Sneijder behind him?

Sorry for ranting. I needed to say some of that.