Colorado Trip Day 5: Happy Anniversary, I love you

Colorado Trip Day 4: I Believe I Can (Butter)Fly

Colorado Trip Day 3: I almost killed a clumsy coyote

Colorado Trip Day 2: That John Denver is full of...no actually it's pretty Rocky here.

Colorado Trip Day 1: Midnight Plane to Colorado

It made me smile and I don't know if I can explain it.

We went out and met up with some friends for Dave's birthday this past Friday. He chose Wrigleyville to try to get more of his friends to come out. I didn't really want to go to Wrigleyville and my concerns were somewhat validated when I had to dodge vomit three times on my from the car to the bar and that's not counting having to park more than a half mile from the bar. Admittedly that's not the worst case scenario for Wrigleyville at all.

Anyway we still wanted to go see Dave and other people regardless of of the fact that the atmosphere was noisy, hot and annoying and the clientele was just noisy and annoying. Still I enjoyed myself and could ignore most of that. Then I used the bathroom.

Posted on all the walls of the bathroom were pictures cut out from various issues of Maxim, Playboy and god knows what other magazines are out there giving me rankings of the top five places to take a date to ensure I'll get some. The women were scantily clad or unclad and mostly bleach blonde clones. I just rolled my eyes and focused on my task. Then my eyes drifted up and caught something that held my attention. In the midst of all these pinups and bikini bombshells was something unexpected: Maya Rudolph.

I don't really know why she was there but there she was, ripped from a page of something with an article she wrote. She was pregnant and dressed in a casual top and a spring skirt. And she looked gorgeous. Probably not to the kind of people who hung those other pictures but she looked absolutely beautiful.

I'd like to think that there was one employee at the place with good taste. If so, then kudos to you sir for making it public. I don't know why but it made me proud.

As far as omens go...

The other day I boarded the Blue Line on my way home. Not too odd, I do that many days unless I decide to take the Pink into downtown and transfer there. The day was ordinary, classes and labwork and not much else.

The platform had the normal amount of people on it. As the train pulled up I saw it had the normal number of people in the cars. The nice thing about working and living towards the edges of the Blue Line is that it's never full when it gets to me and I only have to stand when I transfer downtown in the afternoon.

I entered my car. I have the spacing worked out so I know which car will be close to the stairs when I get off. As I stepped in I saw all empty seats towards the front of this car so that's where I turned. I then caught nothing out of the corner of my eye.

Exactly that. Nothing. Rather nobody. The car was empty. Save for me and the feeling of unease this brought with it.

I've been on cars alone before, but that had always been really late/early after long nights or occasionally a strange time on a Sunday. This was a Tuesday afternoon at 4:15. I said cars are never full when they get to me but empty cars happen less than never. They are a myth.

My first instinct is something was wrong. There must be an offending odor or something disgusting somewhere on this car. I cautiously walked up and down looking for some explanation, my nose being notoriously desensitized. There was none to be found.

It lasted only a short while, although longer than a single stop. We passed Racine and got to UIC before other passengers boarded. The whole time I tried to figure out what it meant and why it was happening.

But it was just an empty car. An oddity, but nothing more.

Where does the time go?

I'll never get caught up. Screw it.

Favorite story from this past weekend:

Stripper: "Hey baby, you're cute. Want a dance?"

Oba: "I have to poop."

And the rage goes on (2010)

Time to wrap up the year again. This was the most important year of my life so far and it's hard to imagine it being topped. But what about pop culture?

GOOD

Movie: Inception
Cass and I just rewatched this and for all its flaws the movie is still incredible to watch. Good performances helped it out.
Runner-Up: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Like last year I didn't get around to seeing a lot of movies that down the line could easily become favorites (i.e. True Grit, The Social Network, others)

Television: Community
The evolution of this show has been incredible and I am in love with all of the cast members almost as much as I love all of the characters. I hope this show has many years so that we can see how the characters grow, which is the fundamental thing that happens in college.
Runner-Up: Louie

Music: Kanye West - My Dark Twisted Fantasy
For all of his flaws (and there are so so many) Kanye has never been one to release a boring album. This one is maybe his best yet although the hashtag stuff stands out a little too much.
Runner-Up: Motion City Soundtrack - My Dinosaur Life

Athlete: Landon Donovan
Landycakes gave us the greatest and most unforgettable sports moment of the year and of US Soccer history. It was amazing to see live and somehow still exhilarating now. Even though the tourney didn't finish out on a high note at all the moment remains.
Runner-Up: Georges St. Pierre

BAD

Movie: Hot Tub Time Machine
It takes an especially stupid script to mess up what is at its heart a mess of a movie. The funny parts were barely funny enough to make up for all of the stupid unresolved/unnecessary side plots and pointless scenes. The ending is one of the worst I've ever seen in a film.
Runner-Up: Date Night
Again I didn't see a lot of movies so I'm sure there were worse ones made.

TV: Lost
Thanks for validating my decision to never watch the show.
Runner-Up: MTV's Teenage Pregnancy Showcase

Music: OKGo - Of the Blue Colour of the Sky
Really underwhelming with ony one or two tracks worth adding to my playlist.

Runner-Up: Nick Hornby and Ben Folds - Lonely Avenue (need to listen to this a few more times but nothing stood out)

Athlete: Brett Favre
$50,000? If any of us did that we would be facing criminal charges. It's illegal to do that. Ugh.
Runner-Up: Ben Roethlisberger is a vile scumbag.

Happy Thanksgiving

Hope everyone had a good holiday. This song was chosen not based on nothing.

You and me we were the pretenders
We let it all slip away
In the end what you don't surrender
Well the world just strips away
Girl, ain't no kindness in the face of strangers
Ain't gonna find no miracles here
Well you can wait on your blesses my darling
I got a deal for you right here
I ain't looking for praise or pity
I ain't coming 'round searching for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that human touch
Just a little of that human touch

Ain't no mercy on the streets of this town
Ain't no bread from heavenly skies
Ain't nobody drawing wine from this blood
It's just you and me tonight
Tell me, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm asking is too much
I just want something to hold on to
And a little of that human touch
Just a little of that human touch

Oh girl that feeling of safety that you prize
Well it comes at a hard hard price
You can't shut off the risk and the pain
Without losing the love that remains
We're all riders on this train

So you've been broken and you've been hurt
Show me somebody who ain't
Yeah, i know i ain't nobody's bargain
But, hell, a little touch up and a little paint...
You might need something to hold on to
When all the answers, they don't amount to much
Somebody that you could just to talk to
And a little of that human touch
Baby, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm asking is too much
I just want to feel you in my arms
Share a little of that human touch
Feel a little of that human touch
Give me a little of that human touch

OMG

So one of the things that Cass does that makes me love her so is sending me pictures during lunch. Cass gets to stop home for lunch now that she's so close to home. I used to do this when we lived in the West Loop and it was great to see the pups in the middle of the day. Cass knows I miss this so she sends me pictures during her break of the pups or sometimes of random things (i.e. a bag of Oreos we forgot about that she stumbled upon).

Today I get a message with the only text reading "OMG." Here is the picture that came with it:

So just a quick note that if anyone out there thought they had the cutest dog in the world they were wrong.

Colin and Kristin's wedding was a blast. It was great to see O'Holl and Jenny, Dave and Mendy, Nate and Laura, Angela and all the other travelers in addition to everyone else. I had a great time and they really did things right.

I think we are removed enough from the event that I can reveal that Cass got ridiculously sick after the wedding. That's why we were only at the afterparty for maybe ten minutes. Sorry we couldn't hang out more but you can only cram so much enjoyment in one night.

To Colin and Kristin: I think you guys managed to beat us for farthest guest voyage for attendance. I am impressed.

For Colin and Kristin

It's not Thanksgiving yet but it's a more important day.

I've been working real hard, trying to get my hands clean,
Tonight we'll drive that dusty road from Monroe to Angeline,
To buy you a gold ring and pretty dress of blue,
Baby just one kiss will get these things for you,
A kiss to seal our fate tonight,
A kiss to prove it all night.

Prove it all night,
Girl there's nothing else that we can do,
So prove it all night, prove it all night,
And girl I'll prove it all night for you.

Everybody's got a hunger, a hunger they can't resist,
There's so much that you want, you deserve much more than this,
But if dreams came true, oh, wouldn't that be nice,
But this ain't no dream we're living through tonight,
Girl, you want it, you take it, you pay the price.

Prove it all night, prove it all night girl and call the bluff,
prove it all night, prove it all night and girl,
I prove it all night for your love.

Baby, tie your hair back in a long white bow,
Meet me in the fields out behind the dynamo,
You hear the voices telling you not to go,
They made their choices and they'll never know,
What it means to steal, to cheat, to lie,
What it's like to live and die.

To prove it all night...

HIMYMYABTT

That stands for How I Met Your Mother You Are Better Than This.

A while back I had a conversation with someone not imaginary (this isn't a standup bit) about the best shows on TV and they picked HIMYM for best comedy. I said I could respect the decision but couldn't agree because the show falls back on sitcom conventions a lot and while it does them well I like a show like Community that tries off-the-wall things and uses conventions to misdirect. But this post isn't about how great Community is, it's about how terrible this past episode of HIMYM was and how the show is capable of better.

The episode was a post-Halloween one and the plots were all trite and dumb. Examine:

- Marshall fires a coworker and has an attack of conscience. The guy wanted to be fired for the severance so Marshall when hires him back and he purposely tries to get fired.
THE TRITE: This is pretty standard for a sensitive-male character on a sitcom. Also the guy getting fired and wanting to be fired so he does his job poorly is pretty well worn territory too.
THE DUMB: First any attack of conscience Marshall had should've been gone when he found out Randy wanted to be fired. It takes bizarre sitcom logic to decide that hiring someone back who wanted to be fired is a moral highpoint. Second, no one can make you take a job back. Once he was fired Randy could've just walked. And lastly a person actively trying to get fired and doing so much wrong can be fired for cause. A standard clause in any job is that if you are fired for cause you are not entitled to benefits. This is a storyline that only works in a sitcom universe that ignores real world logic.

- Ted is popular with his students and is the "cool teacher." This all changes when the girl who is protesting the building he designing for GNB joins his class and turns his class against him.
THE TRITE: Someone from outside a character's job invading his job life and wrapping personal issue up in the professional life is basic sitcom storyline #8.
THE DUMB: This storyline bothered me like crazy. Ted can be really hard to like at times but this was a time when I hated him. Being the cool teacher who's friends with all his students is not a good thing. The only people who like those kinds of teachers are idiots. As a professor you don't want your student's friendship, you want their respect. This is obvious to anyone who has ever taught and the more you try to be a friend the less respect you will get. I'm not saying you have to be mean and humorless. Students respect human beings so be human but playing hackysack and grabbing beers with your students is the dumbest thing ever and doesn't make him sympathetic. I can't believe it took the whole episode for him to come even close to this realization and tell his students to stop behaving like petulant brats. Also the protest is dumb and the argument against it isn't "boo-freaking-hoo," it's "if no buildings ever got torn down because they were old then no buildings would ever get built." It's New York and old buildings are everywhere. If one is run down and falling apart ripping it down isn't a disgrace, it's a good idea and progress.

- Robin is feeling jealous of the attention her co-anchor is getting for a commercial she did and because she's cute. Robin goes out and shoots an embarrassing commercial for adult diapers.
THE TRITE: Embarrassing commercials are pretty standard and adult diapers is a pretty easy target.
THE DUMB: This commercial would never exist. It is beyond stupid even in a sitcom world. Also compromising like this makes it seem like Robin's professionalism is a mask and that she really wants attention. I can understand her feeling a little miffed at all the attention Becky receives but I can't understand her deciding the best thing to do is sell-out her ideals and do a commercial just like Becky did.

All of this stuff is annoying and made for a crappy episode even if some moments were amusing. What really pushed it over the top was the guys and their after Halloween ritual of standing on the stoop mocking the people doing costumed walk-of-shames in the morning. I don't have a problem with this as a premise in itself but the problem was the execution. The guys stand on the stoop and mock women for hooking up with people the night before. The jokes are all costume based but it comes across as incredibly misogynistic. Mocking guys in the same way should've been no problem and Lily could've joined in too just for some balance on the other side as well. It seems especially misogynistic for Barney to be out there doing it when he is guilty of hooking up with random girls all the time. It really made me hate all of the guys on the show.

The point is HIMYM can be a really good show at times and the writing is clever. This was not their finest moment; it may have been their worst. There was little to no purpose to anything in the episode at all and the morning-after slut-shaming scene is one of the worst things I've seen on TV in a while. Keep in mind I watch like four TV shows. I'm sure there are people on reality TV that are doing worse things as I type this.

I voted based entirely on funny anagrams I could make with the candidates' names.

Random Tuesday Thoughts:

- I voted today. It felt good as it had been some time since I did that. I don't know, when I was renting year to year registering to vote seemed like a hassle. Well now I'm a homeowner and have opinions that can be translated to an integer increase next to someone's name. USA! USA! USA!

- Congrats to the Giants. I didn't have any vested interest in the series and would've been happier to see it go to a sixth game at least. Oh well. That pitching staff is awesome (seriously that MVP trophy should've read "Every Giants Pitcher except Jonathan Sanchez) and all locked up until 2012 at the earliest. Pretty awesome. Hahaha the highest paid player on their roster is Barry Zito. People who don't laugh at that don't know what a baseball is.

- Chicagoween was a success. I married the right woman.

- Fielder gets cuter everyday and Charlie is seriously the best big brother. Hi Luke.

- Community is still the best show even though Parks and Rec not being on is bumming me out something crazy.

Quizzical Sunday

A few questions as I work on my homework:

1) How careful do I have to be when doing Michael additions to pay attention to possible formation of cyclic structures? It seems like a lot.

2) Which team do I hate more: the Vikings or the Cowboys? Can they both lose? That would be super.

3) Who do I root for in the baseball playoffs now? The answer to this one is players instead of teams. There's Kinsler and I love that guy. Halladay is a beast and I'd love to see him succeed in the postseason. Giants have Uribe who I like simply because if you read a box score quickly it looks like Juribe. Even the Yankees have Swisher and my defensive rooting of ARod simply because of all the "True Yankee" garbage.

4) Is there anything cuter than the sight of my wife napping while cuddling both of our pups?

CT's bachelor party was fun. I'm not 22 anymore and staying out until 3AM means an unproductive Saturday.

The answer to #4 above is no.

This space is designated for well wishes in the direction of Jay. Hope you get better and we discussed it: through it all you stood your ground. There's some pride in that.

Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.

Cass and I watched Heist last night although there were about two too many twists and anticipated setups by Hackman. Seriously the whole time anything would happen I would just assume Hackman planned for this and sure enough he did. Gene Hackman is great in this and if I had to pick an actor perfect for a Mamet script it would probably be him.

It was a good movie overall and I didn't know Sam Rockwell was in it. See Moon if you haven't before I forget.

Where does Heist stack up on the Mamet scale?

1. Redbelt
2. Spartan
3. State and Main
4. Heist
5. The Spanish Prisoner

I still have to see Homicide, Things Change, Oleanna and The Winslow Boy.

Has anyone ever watched The Unit? It seems pretty trite, probably because it's shot in CBS's old-folk-pleasing style.

Eli's coming, and Rahm's already here

There's a strangeness about today.

I was apparently a reckless sleeper last night. Cass told me that as she dropped me off. Maybe my psyche sensed strange omens approaching. I walked from the car to the train station wondering what made me uneasy last night. I resolved that it must be test anxiety as I walked past Rahm Emanuel. Why he was shaking hands at the Blue Line station is less worrisome than the question of why today? The ride itself was uneventful, the occasional train smell actually instilled a sense of normalcy. Then I got off the train and walked towards my lab and into chaos. I wasn't around when this happened but instead bore witness to the frenzied response. There were at least twenty cop cars surrounding the station. For the record that is somewhere in the neighborhood of 15-18 too many for post-incident response. I guess they had to secure the area. I'm going to secure mine before anything else happens.

This is a strange day. I just hope Tom Sizemore doesn't try to kill me.

Muevela: the best and worst of it

It was a rough weekend. We played in our last ultimate tourney of the season and we did not do well as a team. We lost an important game to a really inferior team 17-16. It was frustrating because we beat ourselves, making dumb decisions and mistakes in every aspect of the game. I played fine with zero turns and getting bookends on my last point of the game. Unfortunately that was to put us up 11-9 at the time and I never got a chance to come back in due to a heavy roster and unwillingness on my part to race people to the line or call someone off. It was a learning experience (I hope) for all of us and I did have a lot of fun with this team.

It should come as no surprise that Cass absolutely dominated in her one game on Sunday.

Saturday night was an ultimate party. Cass and I still like to get out and enjoy ourselves with the younger kids but sometimes it is very sobering to realize how much older we are. I hope that doesn't sound judgmental because I like all of them and they can do whatever they want to have fun (short of hurting someone else), it's just that Cass and I don't feel any compulsion to join in.

Cass has taken over Halloween planning and she is a million times better, cuter and funnier than I could ever be. It's unreal how wonderful she is.

A lot of friends did do well on the weekend so congrats to Maker, Gambit and Ibex.

Call him Buzz to keep it straight.

We had a nice weekend in the burbs with our parents. My mom and dad came down to stay with the Hatzes. We mostly relaxed and just enjoyed being together. The ladies did some shopping and they all bought me things to look more respectable. My parents also brought down cherry pie and chippers so much desserting was had.

We also played golf and I lost probably ten balls. It was a rough talk like a pirate day. I failed to shoot PAARRRRR even once.

Also we watched Wall Street. It's amazing how all 80's movies, even ones directed by Oliver Stone, look the same and are paced the same. Aside from Michael Douglas's performance (and Gekko isn't that incredible of a character; maybe he was innovative for the time?) this movie is pretty thin.

/shrugs

What can I say? Sorry for not posting? I've been avoiding it. How do I sum up everything I've done this summer in any sort of concise way?

It's been the most significant summer of my life. I will look back on it fondly and enjoy it but I have no desire to try to write about it. Aside from taking too much time I don't know how to write it without it turning into just a long gushing love letter to my wife.

My wife.

Things are great. Our life is good. I'll start writing about stuff again. I don't know. You were all there for the wedding. You weren't there for the honeymoon but that was for us. Thank you everyone for being everyone.